Letters to the Editor
-
beware the golden handcuffs!
I've noticed among certain of my friends who are well-off that money serves as a trap, a sort of golden handcuffs. People are terrified of trying certain things because it might threaten the money situation upon which they've become dependent. Meanwhile, those with less money are free to try anything as they have little to lose.
I did find the letter a little grating...the people who are around her are so flawed, she is so stunningly beautiful (newsflash...if you have enough money, you can pretty much buy beautiful). But I felt sorry for her at the same time. I think she should take a six-month leave of absence, gather up a bundle of cash and go to New Orleans. Give the cash to local charities, buy some boots and gloves and help the volunteers finish up mucking out/tearing down houses. If she's still depressed, then try the antidepressants.
-
Don't assume
Just a quick comment here, as I've not yet read all of the responses and hope I'm not duplicating someone else's thoughts:
Nowhere does the letter writer state that her inheritance comes from her father. Perhaps her mother is the source of her money. SUCH a paternalistic society, such assumptions.
LW needs to find a cause and run with it. She needs to involve herself in something that is bigger than herself, and, preferably, have that something be in an area unfamiliar to her. Perhaps her listlisness and apathy are nothing more than boredom. Associating with the same set of people all the time is stifling.
-
woman's search for meaning
i gotta say -- cary was a little off this time. sitting around wallowing in your depression is not a healthy thing to do. and a lot of the mean-spirited responses about heiresses are very counterproductive.
sweetheart, you have something to offer this world, but you're too depressed to figure out what it is.
so, first, get thee to a gym and exercise. get those endorphins up and running and shed those extra pounds. the other side of this coin is a healthy diet. cut out saturated fats, sugar and processed foods in favor of fresh vegetables, lean proteins and wholesome fiber. you will start to see a change in your mood over time, which in turn will get you some confidence back.
then, pick up the phone and get involved. give yourself to an organization you believe in. there are so many wonderful nonprofits in the u.s. that need volunteers and money -- of which you have plenty. chose something that reflects your current struggles. perhaps a pet shelter. you mentioned your dear pet that passed away and how much this pet reminded you of your father. you can begin to help our furry friends out there who need homes, and perhaps allow yourself to pick up the pieces and move on.
as you start to emerge from your depression, through exercise, a healthy diet, and a stronger sense of self, you will also see your libido start to return. sex is a vital part of who you are, and you need to find a healthy way to express your sexuality. over time, as you grow as a human being who has meaning and substance in their life, you will find a path to a man who is able to help you express your sexuality in way that is both fulfilling and sustainable. this path may lead you away from your current boyfriend, or back to him. only time will tell.
but, ultimately, you need to commit time and effort to this problem. you have a lot of work ahead of you. please don't listen to cary's advice to just sit around, staring at the sidewalk. you have to actively pursue your better self.
trust me. i've been there.
i wish you good luck.
-
Two words:
antidepressant medication. You need to go into therapy, and perhaps even explore whether you are truly happy in your relationship or you stay because you feel like you should be.
A lot of people are letting this woman's elite status affect the advice they give her. On one hand, I believe that people are people - depression knows no class boundaries. However, I think the LW should know how much tougher her life would be if she were like most of us who also suffer from severe depression - and also have to worry about how we can maintain a full time job to pay our bills and keep our lives from completely falling apart. At the very least, while getting herself some help, she should allow yourself to feel very grateful for the priviledged life she has. For the rest of us, severe depression isn't simply something that gets in the way of our fun. It is something that overwhelm us and cause us to lose our jobs and therefore our means of survival. Something to keep in mind.
-
re: tms and farafield
It's not about jealousy - it's the hubris that this letter writer exudes: I'm so beautiful, I'm an heiress, I have the bestest job - and the bestest boyfriend (whom I don't want to touch). It's the LW who thinks her money and looks should make her happy, and it's her lack of true self awareness - that she is a person aside from her money and looks - this is what makes people snap at her.
-
I disagree!
I've taken care of many depressed patients and I disagree with the writers who think she has a clinical depression which is being callously disregarded. The key is the description of not just how well off she is but how beautiful she is and all the other wonders of her life. I believe she has at least the underpinnings of a narcissistic personality disorder and her "depression" is the disappointment that she is not appropriately idolized by all as well as a let down about the lack of a "what next?". When I read the work of truly depressed people it makes me sad. This just irritated me (and most of the other writers). That is why I suggested she go into politics which is the perfect place for people who need to be constantly fed reports of their own value and perfection. She can pick either party.