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Read other letters about this article
Oh please...
please, please do post in for advice when you get married.
If you can make this much of a graceless hash out of a christening I just can't _wait_ to see what a ghastly mess you can make of wedding preparations!
Equinity, you took the words right off of my keyboard. It was the first thing that flashed into my head when I read the letter.
The second thing that flashed into my head was that a lot of the reason she is having the problems she is is *because* they haven't planned a wedding yet. Planning a wedding, large or small, that involves out-of-town guests takes a long time and gives the bride and groom the opportunity to think about and deal with many of these issues. (For example, when I was planning my wedding, I knew that culturally and financially some of my relatives were going to want to crash at my place. I also knew I would go stark-raving mad if I had to worry about guests before the wedding. Wedding forums and chatrooms gave me advice on methods for ensuring that people understood they were being invited to town, but not your home - sending a list of affordable hotels in-town, with a city map indicating their location, for instance. This worked perfectly well in our case and everybody got the message that we couldn't put them up.)
This woman is diving into a major family party on short notice. She hasn't had time to think about the pitfalls or do research on throwing big ceremonial parties with out-of-town guests and now she feels she is "out of control".
Her worst mistake was inviting people she didn't want to, nor did she think think would, come. I mean, frankly, that was just denial and stupidity. Again, if she'd taken some time to visit wedding or party-planning websites, one of the pieces of advice she would have gotten loud and clear would be, "if you invite them, the least likely of them will decide to show up".
Finally, her attitude towards her disabled in-law is inexcusable. I feel sorry for the in-law, who is suffering discomfort and inconvenience - and who just wants to see the grandbaby christened. What a cruel attitude in response!
And I feel for the fiance. Her attitude does not bode well for a harmonious interfamily relationship. Like it or not, you marry into a family. They're not going to disappear at your whim, although it sounds disturbingly like she thought that was going to be possible.
