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LW says the reception is small, perhaps, but christenings must be a big deal in her family if some family member other than the parents "desperately" wants to be there. I guarantee you that no one in my family has ever felt a desperate need to be at the christening of anyone.
So LW should just recognize that this is a big deal, and as such, it will not be a time for peaceful rejoicing, especially if out of town guests are coming. As with a wedding, if you want a baptism to be relaxing and under your control, you call up the celebrant and ask if he can fit it into his schedule at a convenient time, show up with your closest friends and relatives who can make it, and then everyone goes out for brunch afterwards. Cary's advice is dead on -- If it's a big deal, and especially if you go out of your way to make it a big deal, you shouldn't complain about the family drama and the hassle of it all.
