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Cary's response was solid, disregarding the stuff about "It's my party's" choice to put the cart before the horse.
The world is full of churches, charitable and kind, that refuse to cowtow to the rigid and bilious fundamentalist rabble. Remember, just because your church does it one way does not in any manner levy an obligation on others do the same.
As far as the details of the affair, how long is this whole thing going to take? A weekend? A week at most? This is the perfect opportunity for IMP to establish herself as matriarch. All she has to do is call the shots, use polite and firm "No's" when appropriate, and insist upon peace and order while embracing her new family graciously. Run a tight ship, feed the guests well, and laugh a lot. She may be surprised at how well she gets along with the siblings when they understand that they have to play by her rules in her home court.
