Boohoo, poor LW. At least that's how she has penned her letter so that everyone will feel that she is the one who is in the right (yes, but so what?) and needs to be defended. I really take issue with the "why do women do this to each other" BS. The ex-GF is just jealous -- no need to turn this into a women are back-biting, hateful, bitches thing. Uhm, it's human nature to act out when you are hurt/jealous/angry/etc. (and I'm unclear why LW needs permission from the world to respond/react to ex-GF's behavior). Someday, LW will look back at this post and cringe when she (1) is a little more mature and/or (2) has been on the bad end of a break up. Until then, soldier on in righteous indignation, LW.

Did we read the same letter? He was broken up with the Ex for 2 YEARS before he started dating the LW and, according to the LW, he's not close with her at all. Apparently, he's more than willing not to go to any functions she throws and not let her carpool but the LW is insisting otherwise for her own competitive/personal reasons. I think you've read way too much into it and veered off the road. While I think the LW is being preciously "I'm innocent - woe is me" and the BF could pull the Ex aside and speak to her about her behavior, the notion that he's some kind of narcissist is dubious.

"Until then, soldier on in righteous indignation, LW."

Hope you follow your own advice, 2cents.

Ok- I am just joking. But I feel for you friend.

My boyfriend attended an Ivy league school, was an honors student, frat vice-president, and played varsity football. I attended the University of Hawaii and made it to classes on most days the surf was down. I did obtain two Masters degree's but also at public universities. A bit of a cultural difference in educational backgrounds.

My boyfriend and I live on the East Coast and tend to spend alot of time with all his college friends- who are all are inter-breeding and still hanging out with the same crowd they did 6 years ago. His ex-girlfriend is always at the same parties and she made it clear she thinks I am Pacific Rim white trash. At first I jollied her, tried to see her point of view, tried talking to her. And just like you I couldn't get why we couldn't get along- I am all about the tribe of women treating each other with dignity and respect.

Then one day as she was snidely (out of earshot of my boyfriend) commenting on the lack of true education at public low- end colleges I just lost it. I smiled and waited till she was finished and said quite nicely,

"Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think only people with Ivy league educations are educated? Girlfriend you have educated yourself stupid. Oh and another thing- I can see why Trev didn't get laid alot in college with all you uptight, frigid Republican chicks. Relax friend- not everything on gods green earth is world peace"

And I strolled away. Mature? No. Giving her ammo on my white rash background? Probably.

But I realized in that moment Trev didn't like her enough to stay with her- why was I trying to be her friend? And why would I want to be friends with someone who had at every available opportunity been mean to me?

And I ask you- why is it so important this chick digs you? She sounds like a real cow and you need to get your ass off the cross- we need the wood. There has to be other people at these parties you can hang with. And for gods sake- unless you really are humping for martyr of the year don't have that insipid wench ride with you. Jesus- she has a big time Ivy league education- I assure you she can arrange a ride with someone she didn't used to sleep with.

OK, so this particular stinkweed has grown from bud to full bloom, but you can still kill it--if you want to.

I have to agree with Samantha T and to a certain exent, BBD. What exactly do you get out of this? Why are you comparing your background and resume with this idiot loser? Do you believe that she's somehow "better" than you and wonder why your boyfriend chose you over her? Stop! She ain't all that.

Or are you simply bored? Otherwise, why invite needless drama into your life?

You've got to take responsibility for your bit in this. Once you do, you'll find the herbicide easy to apply:

1. Climb down from the cross, and don't go back up there again. Stop engaging her by playing the martyr to appear to be the "bigger person." It only causes you pain, and you don't resurrect in 3 days, either.

2. Apply your musings about "why women do this to other women" to other situations that merit the attention. Who knows why she acts this way? You should neither try to analyze nor solve this woman's problems. As the character Mozell said in Eve's Bayou, "Sometimes there is no point, and that's the damned point."

3. Everyone is not your friend. Accept this and move on. You should be civil to her if and when you see her, but that's the extent of your contact. I know a few people here suggested "befriending" her, but don't you dare. Why waste your time trying to "win her over"? Are you mad? Limit your interaction with her, and for heaven's sake, DO NOT let this woman carpool with you. Screw her and the broomstick she flew in on. You will only be a) rewarding bad behavior by granting her an unearned favor b) indulging her by giving her bad behavior yet another platform and c) inviting needless drama. Besides--and you should "ask" her this--why would she want to carpool with her "intellectual inferior"? Surely a woman of her great intellect can find her own way to a class reunion.

4. Your boyfriend has an even greater responsibility than you do to stop the situation. Tell him to call this woman on her behavior--NOW. As someone posted earlier, he must love the attention. What's more important--the ego stroke from someone still hung up on him after two years, or YOU? If it's the latter, then no more Mr. Indirect Guy. Four stars to the person who advised him to say "Remember why I broke up with you." Short, sweet and brilliant.

And it does work. I had an ex who'd call occasionally but the one time my husband (at that time, my fiance) answered the phone, the ex barely acknowledged him. My man kindly--but directly--informed me of ex's behavior, and I handled it. I told said ex, "Look, you're free to call, but understand that he IS my fiance and that he WILL BE my husband, and that you WILL respect that. Friends?"

After more than a decade of marriage, we've not heard a peep from him since.

You two can end this situation, if you want to do so. Good luck!