Letters to the Editor
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Similiar experience w/an ex's sister
Good advice and insight from Cary and the folks. I had an experience where I dated a guy whose sister was a nightmare and sadly I can’t call her intelligent, interesting, or attractive. For a time, I actually understood her behavior because I met him through her as she and I had been friends. I figured she didn't want to lose a friend and have her bro come between us. I tried to be sensitive and put myself in her shoes; but it proved impossible with someone immature and unreasonable. We too traveled in the same circle, but after some time, I just stopped hanging out with the group and going to the family functions. It alienated me from his parents because they just couldn’t see the situation clearly even though they witnessed many of her outbursts. I always took the high road, always just ignored her, but it proved to be too much and all I could do was remove myself from the situation and preserve my sanity. The parents thought I was the bad guy. Crazy people but pardon the cliché, blood is thicker than water. Anyway, we’re no longer together for many other reasons; but the experience taught me that you have to stand up for you and/or avoid the individual. The LW’s bf, while seemingly sensitive, isn’t going to help here. Perhaps there’s allegiance to his ex and he feels he’s stuck in the middle. As other folks have stated, concentrate on socializing with your own friends. She’s an ex and not a family member, so there’s little to lose. The risk of removing yourself from the group shouldn’t be a monumental setback to the relationship. If it is, then there are other issues. Good luck.