Letters to the Editor

My boyfriend's ex puts me down in public Why do women do this to each other? Can't we rise above it? By Cary Tennis [2006-08-30]

• Demonstrate your maturity and intelligence

  Here are a few sample responses I've used in similar situations:

  "Oh, I stopped trying to impress people with my taste in movies/books/TV/music years ago."

  "Well, I spent four years at [Awesome University] working my ass off to earn the right to read/watch/listen to whatever I choose."

  "You know, I used to feel really silly/insecure/embarrassed about enjoying stuff like this, but then I grew up."

  "Don't you think we're all too old to still care about passing the 'cool' test? It's so exhausting."

  Growing up is about becoming comfortable with who you are and what you like, and not trying so goddamn hard to be cool anymore. It's very liberating not to be vulnerable in those conversations.

  By saying and believing that you aren't controlled by her opinions, you take away her power without causing a scene. She probably does this to EVERYBODY, and they will be relieved to hear you say what they've all been thinking.

  -- Carrie Ann
  [Read Carrie Ann's other letters]
  Permalink Flag Wednesday, August 30, 2006 08:48 AM
  Click "Submit Flag" if you feel this post is inappropriate. Explain why below if you wish.

  Cancel