Letters to the Editor
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omg
This column is beginning to make me roar with laughter.
Firstly the 'problem' is completely ridiculous and secondly I have just realised how humourless everyone is every day in this letters section.
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I'm really disturbed by this trend and wish it would go away
I've never found the "bald eagle" look to be at all attractive, but because of the pervasiveness of online porn, it seems to have become entrenched as a desirable look for those "in the know." I wonder if guys actually like the look on its own merit, since it always strikes me as some sort of weird prepubescent girl meets lizard combination. I wonder how many men like the look more for what it symbolizes: a woman who is sexually adventurous, aggressive, and willing to do anything to please a man. I took a brief cruise around the underbelly of the internet, and all the girls seemed to be shaved. But these women depress me, especially those who are barely legal and have their own websites. They try to act like confident, assertive women who have sex by their own rules, but they are really shallow, narcissitic little things who have been weaned on "Girls Gone Wild" videos and an early introduction to online porn, hoping for their 15 minutes of fame by doing the only thing they know how.
This need for attention is sad. Some people say it makes the sex better, and that may be true, but to me, this look will always symbolize the desperate young women who want others to watch them debase themselves on the internet.
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Hair has a purpose
I've been shaved, trimmed, and natural and I've found that I'm much sweatier and uncomfortable with shaved. The hair is there to wick the moisture away from the skin so it evaporates and keeps bacteria from forming; same with the armpits. I'm generally unshaved with the pits, too, and find I am less sweaty need less deodorant. I married a European and when I told him I didn't like to shave my pits he said, "good, I prefer them unshaved." So, if you don't want to shave find yourself a European guy!
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It's all good
Hairless/heavily trimmed seems to be more in style, but it is not uniformly so, and there are many guys, like me, who personally prefer untrimmed or lightly trimmed. Go with what you are comfortable with, but don't be too judgmental about guys who ask you to shave. However, if a guy makes too big a deal about it if you say no, dump him. Or you might shut him up by insisting that he shave his.
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LW should do with her genitals as she likes.
I agree with people who want some neatness when they get down to it. My husband needs to stay neat. I don't do the human floss. My husband and I both trim periodically. We both tried shaving, but didn't like the work to maintain (or pain to regrow) or, most importantly, the appearance post hair removal.
I suspect that, for most people, the choice to wax/shave/trim/not grows out of a pretty strong preference for the appearance one way or the other. My husband and I both happen to have the same strong preference for a certain genital appearance. I can imagine that some people who shave have a similarly strong preference, and it doesn't seem like it'd be humane to make someone consistently (maybe once in a blue moon, but not consistently) groom themselves contrary to the way they like to feel and look. I'd never pressure my husband to shave his genitals, even if I were into the bald look, because I can't imagine bugging him to do something he doesn't enjoy in order to qualify for sexual activity with me.
Therefore, LW, I would recommend that you determine for yourself what look and feel and maintenance level (and whether you see yourself hunching down on all fours for a stranger to rip wax off your butt hole -- yikes!) you like and then stick with that most of the time. I just can't imagine that it would be good for you to subjugate your sexual tastes (and aversions) even half the time just to suit someone else.
Also, the wide variety of responses here should indicate to you that, no matter what your potential boyfriends say to you, no particular stance on this issue is the norm. And even if someone could show you that every single person on the planet prefers one way, but you prefer another -- you are actually grossed/freaked out to go against your preference -- that showing shouldn't change your mind, should it?
If you are still interested in knowing what percentage of women do what with their genital hair, I believe that the number of women who engage in genital hair modification more invasive than trimming is about half, which is probably quite a higher number than in previous decades (before spas/salons made it their business to promote this type of hair vigilance).
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Isn't it ironic?
You know ... I don't even know how to say this, if you haven't thought of it already. If you're distressed that the guys you've been seeing have expressed opinions about your pubic hair, don't you think it's a little odd to ask the entire readership of Salon for *our* opinions?
Shave, wax, trim, dye, perm or don't, as you wish. It's your body, and the state of your pubic hair really isn't a secret code for anything else. I have no recommendation about that whatsoever, and I can assure you that whatever you prefer, there's someone else out there who prefers the same. But gosh, try to find a guy who likes you the way you are and doesn't feel the need to suggest improvements.
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Why not post BEFORE and AFTER photos if we are going to be voting ?!
Seriously, though, as a 42 year old guy, I grew up when women had pubic hair. Bald is creepy and stubble is horrible. Fuzzy is nice. Pits too, if she's comfortable with it, and leg hair so long as it isn't really coarse...
P.S. Cary, I got the subtle digs at the posters, but posted anyway. I like the idea of a forum.
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I've had both...
.. a big hairy bush and a bald one, and they both have their merits. Hairy ones seem more...Continental? And shaved ones are neat and suprisingly small. There's really not much too a pussy, is there? Most guys seem to like it shaved, but not all guys. Maybe because of the porn influence, but I wouldn't blame it all on porn. Modern fashions require that the short and curlies don't poke out of your low-rise jeans, yoga pants or short-shorts. And once you've trimmed it all down to the Hitler, you might as well just take it all off. Especially if you're bad with the razor and you look like you have a lopsided snatch. Small bushes have become so common that big hairy beavers have become their own fetish. But I wouldn't be too hard on men, or try too hard to understand them. Maybe they just like pussy, and want to see it better!
But my question is, where are all the hairy men? I want a man who doesn't shave "down there." (No, it really doesn't make it look bigger!)