Letters to the Editor
-
I was having a conversation with my mother about this last week.
I ran into her in the pharmacy down the street, and I had picked up most of the items I needed. She asked if I needed a ride, and I said that I needed just one more thing. I grabbed a package of those noxema bikini line razors (they're not meant for the whole vulva, just the edges), and she asked what they were for.
I explained, citing bathing suit season.
She asked me whether it was now expected that women remove all pubic hair. My mother is not naive. Not sheltered. She'd just been too busy, sensible, and confident to purchase a women's magazine in the past ten years.
I briefly left my body as I considered how to have this conversation with my mother. (I'm 24. She's 56). I asked where she'd gotten the impression that it was expected. Hoping against hope that the next words out of her mouth weren't "Your dad...".
Thank god, they weren't. Her friends, all around the same age, had begun going to the waxer before the gynecologist. They'd told her it was expected now. I laughed. I told my mother that that was ridiculous. And, that, my friends who do remove some pubic hair, often let it regrow for the gynecologist. Thinking, of course, that it's expected to have it.
Ridiculous.
Everybody worries about what's expected, and by whom. Men. Women at the gym. The doctor's office.
The only reason to do anything in that area is because you like to do it, or because you want to try it to see if you like it.
But because answers are sometimes required, let me say this: If you get multiple requests for shaving, please consider that sometimes people aren't the best at expressing exactly what it is they want, and start by trimming. It may just be that they never considered that there was a middle ground.
-
Seeing Red (Bumps)
Having read the word "shaved" so many times, I think I'm getting psychosomatic razor burn. SHAVING? Really? Is everyone out there really doing this or is it a catch-all word for waxing, sugaring, etc.? My skin has hated razors since Jr. High and there's no way a clunky Gillette product is getting near my punani. For the record, sometimes it's full, sometimes it's trimmed. Sometimes I wax, at home or I pay a professional. There really is no way to describe the sexual sensations with a full Brazilian. But as always, do what *you* want; it's your body.
-
The trend is to trim/shave
I consider this to be a question of a woman's personal style. It is part of her overall presentation of self, not the most trivial thing about her but not the most important either. Basically, if she enjoys her own body and wants you do enjoy it too, it is not going to matter much whether she shaves her genital area or not.
As an older (past 60) guy with a little bit of experience dating much younger women, I can affirm that the younger generation tends to prefer shaving or trimming, practices nearly unheard of when I was in college and grad school, for instance. Personally, I find this trend charming and seductive.
I can also vouch that in my experience young women of today are more open, generous and giving with their partners than were most ladies of the late 50's - early 60's. But that is another subject perhaps.
-
ew?
OK, I'll admit, I find the trend towards hairless genitalia pretty squickful. I completely understand trimming or shaving stray hairs if one is hairy, just to keep things neat. My first girlfriend trimmed hers to about 1/4 inch long, and it made sense for her because she had a LOT of hair. (and yeah, OK, pubic hair sticking out of a bathing suit is kind of squicky, too.) Because I don't have much pubic hair, and what I do have is fairly soft and light-colored, I leave mine alone, and have never had anyone complain about it.
I personally would not make any modifications to my body, hair, etc. if someone I was only "dating" asked me to. When my now-husband and I were getting a little more serious, he asked me to grow my hair longer; we're Jewish, and really short hair on women reminds him of the Holocaust -- not a thing he wants to be reminded of when we're getting it on! But he didn't make the request until we were firmly coupled, and I would have said no if he'd asked me on the first or second date!
-
Yankee in Europe
I was pretty shocked to see here in Austria in the fitness club locker rooms that most of the guys here do something with their crotch hair.
The trimming idea works pretty well for both sexes, setting the trimmers to 1/4 or 1/2, and then mowing around.
Big bushes trap smells and keep skin layers from being removed (don't soap your crotch very much!) hence, clogging pores (Smegmititis baby!), shaving causes crotch zits and ingrown hairs (on some), but the ever lovely, quick and hassle-free mowing is a great way to balance the flora.
btw, going down on a big bush is a major league bummer.
It's better when the diamond is freshly mowed when it is that time to step up to the plate.
-
I like hair!
There are two kinds of "Please shave it guys".
1)Kinks - they have a thing for bald beeves.
2)Trend dweebs. They ask you to shave because they read about it in Penthouse or Dan Savage. They assume the taste for anything they are told is "with it".
But there is one kid of "Don't shave it for me" guy - and we like hairy muffs! No pseudo fourth grade poontang for us, thanks, we like women all growed up. And the Brazilian wax is a real esthetic affront. Who would want to kiss and nibble theit way down your torso, only to be confronted with Hitler's mustache on your mound?
Some guys will chime in that "hairy is gross". Too bad they are easily frightened. Better shave the eyebrows, and trim off the eyelashes, too, so the li'l guy don't skitter away, chittering to himself.
In fact some of us think that a stray wisp of your pelt escaping your swimsuit's leg is kinda hot! Or a nice line pointing from the navel towards the bikini bottom and the prized nether regions.
Tell him to shave his balls first. Then laugh at him and say "Sucker!" and let him enjoy his bristle for a week. If he asks again, tell him the same thing again. If he asks a third time, he's too dumb to screw.