Letters to the Editor
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Half the bush, twice the fun
As a woman who likes the taste of skin better than that of hair (no hairy-chested men for this Hot Mama), I wouldn't be too quick to brand men as pedophiles just because they crave a clean-shaven mound. Instead, try this compromise: Clip your pubes as short as possible, then shave the edges neat (as you would for, say, a Lands End bathing suit, not a French bikini). Yes, it hurts when the little devils grow back, but you can avoid that by shaving whenever you shower. The benefit? You'll still look like an adult, but your partner(s) will be able to get much closer, and will have (you'll like this part) easier access to your clitoris. This should work for most people, and if it doesn't, just say, "Sorry, I'm not into looking like a 12-year-old." That should freak a guy out enough to leave the topic (or you) alone.
Good like finding your perfect partner!
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Guys aren't the only ones asking
My fiancee asked me to trim my hair very short. I did it, and though it's itchy I do it because she likes it better that way. Not a big sacrifice in my mind to make her happier in some way, even if it does get a bit itchy at times. I mean, it's not like she asked me to do something outwardly obvious. I'm not walking around with my junk hanging out - she's the only one who sees it.
Now asking me to get a tattoo, that'd be a different story. But since hair grows back, why not?
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Kate can have her muff,
I'm going for the Jeff-christened "pudendal cleft". Sophisticated, not too brash, lit'ry.
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the younger generation
I'm a single woman in my 30s and I live with 3 guys in their 20s. I just recently had this discussion with my roomates and I was shocked to learn that all of my roommates expect a woman to be completely shaved. (This had nothing to do with my own vagina - one of them was discussing a girl he was dating.)
I dated a guy in college who asked me to shave, and I did because I was young and naive and too insecure to stick up for myself, but it always made me feel a little creepy because I was skinny and flat-chested, and with no pubes, I really did look like a young girl. (I'm not saying women who shave are insecure, but those who don't want to shave and do it anyway have some problems asserting their own needs, which was me back then.)
Anyway this always struck me as a weird quirk of my weird controlling ex-boyfriend, so I was surprised that the guys I live with - who are really good guys - felt this way. We've had long discussions about why they like it. One of my roommates says it's easier to go down on a woman, and he backs it up by shaving himself. We've talked about whether or not it's driven by porn (possibly, they agree) or pedophilia (unlikely, they say). We've theorized that maybe they're subconsciously attracted to the hairless look because it signals youth and vitality. At first I was a little offended that they expected women to shave completely, but as I've grown to see their point of view.
That said, I keep mine trimmed and use Magic Shaving Powder on my bikini area, which is a great alternative to shaving or waxing. Magic Shaving Powder is designed for black men's beards, but works very well on pubic hair without the irritation of Nair or similar products. I highly recommend it.
I think the LW should do whatever makes her comfortable, but don't automatically assume that a man is a pedophile if he likes his women shaved. And if you decide to shave, try the Magic Shaving Powder.
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It ain't an all-or-nothing proposition
This is an issue I've given a fair amount of thought to in the past year or so. When I was in college, about a decade ago, I stopped shaving altogether because I was so offended by the expectation that all women (at least all straight women) must shave to be presentable. I continued unshorn for a number of years until I found myself in a near-sexless long-term relationship. The situation made me feel icky and unattractive, and I was older and heavier than I had been in college, so I began shaving again as part of an attempt to keep my self-esteem intact (my boyfriend liked me unshaven, so it was a bit of a "screw you" as well. So to speak.).
Several years and one catastrophic breakup down the line, I found myself entering what promised to be a very well-sexed relationship, and just for the perverse hell of it I decided to trim my trim for new boyfriend's benefit, just cutting back the bush a bit but not going entirely bare anywhere. A while later, just because, as you say, why not? I decided to shave the southern coast of my nethers, i.e. the outer labia and inner thigh, while leaving the exterior hair trimmed but intact. This worked well for me and for him (slipperier sex, fewer hairs caught in teeth, etc), yet I still look like a woman full-grown. I've considered waxing and lasering but modesty and low funds have kept me shaving. It does take some modicum of effort (I have to shave every couple of days to avoid discomfort) but it's just part of my (extremely limited) beauty routine now.
I guess my point is a) there's nothing wrong with pubic hair, b) there's nothing wrong with no pubic hair, and c) a happy medium exists depending on what you or your partner are looking for.
- mar
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Bush is beautiful
I'm so glad I'm not 30 when I read these letters! I think bush is beautiful and really hate this trend trying to get rid of everything. I've never been with a woman who shaved her pubes and hope I never will be. Is this a uniquely american thing? I'm canadian and spend a lot of time in europe so can't really say, but the only completely shaved women I've ever seen are in porn. Doesn't do a thing for me. Bring back the bush!
40+