Letters to the Editor
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'love bush' full of it
I can't resist this one.....
"I love bush" gave what s/he considers to be the characteristics of men who like women shaved. S/he is full of it.
I am lucky in that, besides being a wonderful person, a beautiful woman and a good friend, my girlfriend was shaved when I met her. She likes it that way. So do I.
I like when my girlfriend shaves for two reasons. 1) I think she is beautiful there and I like to be able to see her. 2) Cunnilingus is much more pleasureable for both of us and easier (for me).
My preference has nothing to do with any of the factors you mention:
I don't porn surf - it has nothing to do with young pussy (the thought disgusts me) - rule out cunnilingus? Please. -
menstruation, gross? Where did that come from. I'm sure most guys who like their partners shaved have earned their red wings with pleasure - no foreplay? Again, where does this come from? Shaving enhances foreplay.
Now maybe this has been your experience, but you smear us guys with a pretty broad and ignorant brush.
It really is up to the couple right? If they like it, great! If they don't, that's fine too.
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Mark, No Need for Time to Tell...
Women ARE turned off. Already. Trust me.
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Oh please....
Anyone who thinks that shaving or waxing "infantalizes" female genitalia has clearly not looked very closely at what is "down there". Time for an anatomy lesson folks? Maybe have sex with the lights on for a change?
Adult women's labia do *not* look prepubscent when shaved or waxed. There is a lot that happens besides the growth of pubic hair when those hormones kick in during adolescence. The shape and color changes, the inner labia develop, etc. I am willing to bet that a lot of women never really know what their labia look like until they try out shaving or waxing-- all that fur covers up a lot of stuff.
For me smooth pubes say "porn star"-- not "child". That's what really is at issue here. Its a sexy, scandalous, not very chaste look. I think my pubes are prettier without hair (lingerie looks nicer when everything is pruned) and I rather like the increased sensation.
And yes, I do it for me, not for my BF. This presumption that women *only* do these things to please men is pretty obnoxious and sexist.
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Bottom line, it HURTS.
Waxing hurts, shaving irritates the skin, and the ingrown hairs can be painful for days. Sure, we should accomodate our partners to a point. If he wants you to wear a special outfit, or to play a kinky game, you might agree in exchange for similar accomodation on his part. But you should not be expected to change your body in a way that itches and hurts long after the sex is over.
It's not a crime to enjoy shaved genitals. If both partners enjoy it, by all means shave. But what other people enjoy is beside the point -- you seriously don't like it, and your partner should respect that.
Most people don't have partners who are 100% the ideal sexual fantasy. We might fall in love with someone who is a little bit overweight, a woman who has smallish boobs or a man with a smallish penis... But if you truly love someone, they become your fantasy because you crave them in every way. A body becomes beautiful because it's the body of the person you love. If your partner can't enjoy sex with you because of natural hairs, then chances are he isn't the best person for you anyway.
Cary -- Nice job with this letter. When I read the headline I thought, "oh no, he is NOT going to give advice about this..." But your response was funny -- a window into the strange moments of your job -- and by turning it over to the readers, you gave the LW a chance to hear advice that will be useful to her. And this:
Our readers are helpful and well-informed. They display an inordinate willingness to share their most intimate thoughts and feelings.
Is just so true. :)
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To shave or nnot to shave, that is the question.
I have had sex with many women over the last few years, and I would say that about 80% or so are shaved, and most of the rest are either stubbly or trimmed. There are very few wild bushes out there.
I think part of the reason is for hygiene, part is for the look, and part is because men prefer oral sex without hair in the way. My girlfriend is shaved, because that is the way she wants to be. She believes it is more hygienic.
Personally my preference is for natural as I find this sexier, so I am not too sure why many other men prefer the shaved look, or whether it has something to do with incipient pedophiliac tendencies. I somehow doubt it.
As far as overweight women go, I am not sure if it makes a lot of difference. Painters like Rubens and classical sculptors seem to favor the shaved look, but if a woman is really large, some hair does help one locate the target area.
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Do what you like
Shaving is terrible -- stubble, ingrowns, nicks. It's all bad.
If you want to wax, wax.
If you want to trim it short and just shave the bikini line (my personal choice), then do that.
If you want to have full and righteous jungle muff, then do that.
As long as you're keeping it clean, that's all that matters.
I do have to ask what kind of freakshows you're dating, though. I can't imagine any normal guy venturing an opinion on his date's pubic topiary until they're actually in a steady relationship. And even then, it's your hoo-ha, your choice.
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bush is so much better...
... not necessarily the concept, but the word. It's still primitive, but seems less demeaning. My mouth dropped open when Cary suddenly used "pussy," and then used it again, and again! It was like hearing my dad say it, or like hearing it in church. Not to elevate this little exercise too much, but I suppose I have a certain respect for Cary's rhetoric (weird though he has been lately, but that's been over-addressed). I'm far from an old fogey, but "pussy" from Cary still made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and yodel.
(And you realize, Cary, now that you've specifically said that your friends haven't volunteered this information, and that you haven't asked, you're going to start receiving stats. *Shiver*)
Pay no attention to extremists like i love bush, by the way. Talk about clownshoes. Most people aren't such easy caricatures.
And I shave. Usually not completely. More as a matter of tidiness than anything, and at this point, it's mostly out of habit. But if I have to dig for its genesis, the sensations really are better, and it's much more fun for my boyfriend to go down on me. Hair in your teeth is not a bonding experience, no matter what the storybooks say. The trouble with all this is that porn (or so I'm told) really does present the bare-bottomed belle as the ideal -- but that doesn't mean there isn't something to it. Not every shaved woman has been bent to the the twisted mien of the corporate world. However... lack of labia, you say? Is it FLAT? Blecchhh. Are we talking operation? For real?