Letters to the Editor
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Not shaving or trimming is
disgusting. Guys will dump you. You will stink.
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compromise: a trim
Probably someone has covered this, but I'm just so tickled by this topic (heh heh, that was a pun, sort of) that I wanted to add.
Waxing and complete shaving are high-maintenance and potentially painful activities (to state the obvious). Consider purchasing a beard-trimmer for the beard down there. Trim to about 1/4 or 1/8 inch, or even a little bit shorter, or whatever length you prefer, really. It can be a little prickly for your partner, but it's comfortable, it looks nice and I think it increases the pleasure of sex.
But I really think the point is to do whatever makes you feel good - good about yourself, and good physically. It's not necessarily about infantilizing a woman's genitals. Taking care of your body with a mind to how you and your lover will enjoy it is the first stage of foreplay.
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Cary, you are SO lame!
Really- you couldn't even *begin* to answer this question without help? In this light, are you really qualified to even have an advice column?
You could have even given a "Dear Abby" type response like "Different strokes for different folks, dear! There is someone for everyone!" Or A Dan Savage- "Get over your tired self, bitch! Why don't you throw up a few more obstacles to meeting a man? Maybe you think you look like a fat baby because you're acting like a big fat baby!"
The truth is some people like hair, some people don't. Any salon can give "Bushy" a lesson on trimming, shaving, waxing, etc. Besides, why can’t the lady trim her hair short and reach a compromise? Does she even have any female friends?
Sheesh!- My response would have been: “This is not worth the time and space of a syndicated column. NEXT!”
MSW
P.S. You Are Lame Cary Tennis
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Geography?
Well, I'm 40, single, and on the east coast. Pretty much every woman I know shaves or waxes to some degree. Some have even done the lasor thing.
As for the men, the majority of whom I see naked are in the 25-40 bracket. I would say most every male trims or shaves as well. And it makes giving head so much easier for me. I like oral sex too much (from both sides) to take a chance on a hairy bush scaring them off. Actually, I haven't had much hair for 15 years and hardly any these last 5 years. This winter, when medical reasons kept me from shaving regularly, I really hated the look.
I think a nicely trimmed or shaved pussy (there I said it, and was quite humoured, not grossed out, that Cary did too!) shows that you like sex, think about it enough to care what the presentation is, and think that men get that impression too from your maintenance. It doesn't make them perverts, for crissake! Its what I think when I'm presented with a nicely trimmed man.
Oh, and stop with the porn references. I rarely see porn. I do it because I like the way it makes me feel and men of all ages have always, always said I taste so much better than other women they've gone down on. (thanks to Summers Eve Feminine Wash, very non-irritative compared to soap or shampoo) So, yeah, basic grooming goes a long way. Hearing a 25 year old say you have a much prettier pussy than most is quite an ego booster at my age.
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It's the influence of the porn industry
I have a friend who is one of the few women I've known to dally with much younger men (she's gorgeus, rich, late 40's). Her boy toys are in their 20's. She has reported to me that she detects the influence of porn in the younger generation. The sex is more like performing an imitation of the visuals in your head. The men are less present, she says, then they used to be. The preference for shaved pussy goes along with this.
We've confused liberation with consumerism. Sad.
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The older women don't "date" younger men, they
fuck them and vice versa, since no younger man sees an older woman as anything more than a shortlived situation and fun practice.
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Even though I'm a fan of shaving
I will point out that I think it is, for many people, a very narcissistic and obsessive/complulsive practice. Not for all, but for many.
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For some it is, for others
it is called personal hygiene since few things stink like a rank pussy.
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The real issue is these men - not the woman's ultimate choice of grooming
My first thought on reading this is - at what point are these men asking for this? To be honest, I think it's pretty inappropriate at any time. In early dating, it shows an annoying sort of control issue. In a serious committed relationship, it's okay to request in the context of a give-and-take conversation about what would turn you both on more, but also by that time he should love you as you are. From the letter, it sounds as if this is an out-of-the-blue request, and almost more of an imperative than a request. That's just not cool.
My knowledge from the women I know (we are all under 30 by the way) is that most do a bikini line hair removal along with shaving their legs. And, yes, it is mostly straight women of a higher socio-economic status who live in major urban centers that go all the way.
But I don't say that to marginalize it or turn it into some red state-blue state thing. It actually brings me around to the second point of the letter - the disgust. I think that maybe 10 years ago, a guy who wanted a woman to be bare down there probably did have a slightly unhealthy fetish surrounding the prepubescent look. But it has become relatively common, so guys who wouldn't have gone seeking it on their own, have now been with multiple women who are all similarly groomed. And aesthetically, it probably offers more of the smooth curve look, mirroring you above-waist assets and the feminine non-hairy ideal, and it isn't so much about imagining sex with a 12-year-old.
As for the hygiene, you won't stink if you don't (assuming you shower regularly), but you might want to try moving up to at least a trim and seeing if that sits right with you. You'll probably like it. And if not, well, then you know and you have one more criteria to weed out the guys that aren't right for you.