Letters to the Editor
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No More Bush?
The shaved trend is merely an outgrowth (no pun intended)of the 2004 "Any Body But Bush" campaign. The reason so many men are asking you about yours is that they are pollsters who are researching the current trends in backlash against Bush policies -- whether women are for or against Bush -- remember, "You're either with us or against us." Obviously, most American men are against Bush. But it's not that way in all places: One of the main reasons our fearless leader is convinced that the Iraqi's want the US to remain in Iraq is that all Iraqi women are required by law to support Bush. They just can't display this preference in pub(l)ic.
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love bush-hate santorum
I just can't figure out why the LW didn't send this question to Dan Savage. It seems he would have been ableto give her practical advice rather than forcing her to read thru more than 100 responses.
my 2 cents: trim if you like (make it a party!) but shaving never works out in the long run and great goddess, have you ever had anything waxed??? why would anyone voluntarily subject herself that pain AND pay for it.
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Trimming pubes is as polite as shaving one's face
I wouldn't worry too much about infantilizing one's genitals. We ask men to shave their faces, which is just as "unnatural." I trim mine with scissors and occasionally pluck my bikini line. This seems to satisfy the men I've been with. I'm happy to do it if I can request that they keep sandpaper beards in check as well.
ID
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lucky
My boyfriend LOVES my hair; when I brought up the prospect of trimming so I could wear a non-boy-shorts bathing suit, he got sad. It's so wonderful not to have to shave, wax, or otherwise submit myself to physical discomfort. I always hated shaving, and I regard waxing as paying someone to torture you. If we did that to prisoners it would be against the geneva conventions. I hope we never break up, if only so that I never have to face the dilemma of dating a man who wants my vagina to look like that of an 8 year old.
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Why the negative emotion associated with basic grooming?
As a 20 something male, nearly all of the women I date keep it either very well trimmed or shaven. In as much as you clean out your ears, clip your fingernails, and scrape your tongue before a date, it's important not to let let a pubic forrest grow unattended. Comparing it to an infant reveals only your negative emotional orientation to the practice and probably isn't your real reason for objecting to it. Without the objection of infantalization, there could easily be another rationalization of your negative emotions. I would suggest that many women are insecure about the attractiveness of their labia and pubic region and veiling it with pubic hair is psychologically comforting. Of course, whether this is true for you or not is something you'll have to ask yourself.
You wouldn't dump a guy who asks you to put your hair up instead of wearing it down. Why dump men who prefer a closely groomed pubic region over a haphazard, wild bush? It's a simple personal preference. Your extreme reaction to their preference suggests that more may be going on in your mind than explained in your letter.
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Makes me sad
So many dudes expect women to "groom" (whatever that means) themselves in ways that they themselves would likely never undertake. I think what bums me out the most is that women permit this to happen because they keep the means of production completely obscured and make things seem easy and low-maintenance that aren't even remotely easy or low-maintenance. Listen, my concern isn't women who love to be trimmed or bare for whatever reason, it's women who just don't want to shave, wax, whatever and feel pressured to do it anyway. It *is* a big deal to get waxed if you don't want to do it. More women need to turn to the men in their lives and say "No - it hurts, it's invasive, it's expensive, and I don't feel like doing it. I'd appreciate your letting it go." Period. If the guy turns tail after he hears your reasoning, so be it. If they guy is new in your life, I do find it presumptuous of him to ask you to do something so personal, even if he asks nicely.
33, white, female, newlywed, 10-year NYC resident. For the record, I've had one guy ask me to do this in my extensive (if I do say so myself!) dating history and he was an entitled boarding-school alum, investment banker, sailing lessons from the womb, Sutton Place-dwelling prick. Please, no comments on why I dated him to begin with.
I'm curious whether people think this is a race, class, or geographically-specific thing.
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oh for cryin' out loud
Get a brazillian or become the lonely old cat lady? Have we all become so desperate and superficial that we base our success/failure in love and relationships on PUBIC HAIR?
The decision to shave/wax or not to shave/wax should be a personal choice, not to appease a lover or because it's the "in" thing to do. Some people prefer smooth, some people don't -- do we switch our appearance each time we meet someone new because THEY prefer blondes or like us better in short skirts?
And if there's a problem in a relationship, trust me, it ain't about the pubic hair.
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Shave it or get a bidet!
Lets face it girls, another important issue here is hygiene. The Europeans may keep their hair but they also use bidets. It can also be very gratifying to hear your lover tell you that you are the freshest woman he's ever tasted. If you enjoy receiving oral sex your chances on getting it regularly are a lot better if you keep it clean.
For me, shaving is a sanitary issue. Nothing naughty about that!
-Bonlu
P.S. A little heads-up to the uncircumcized men out there: Keep it clean! Please!
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Dear no name given:
Dude, you don't get to tell women how to take care of their bodies. So, STFU. Your paternalistic bullshit might carry the day with the one or two drunk sorority girls dumb enough to fall for your GGW lines, but they don't wash with real women. Now, back to your porn surfing, little one.