Letters to the Editor
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Does Anyone Here Go Swimming?
What brought on shaving was not porn but the beach. Bikinis were re-fashioned in the 90's into more thong-shaped garments. Thus women had to shave, or else there would be pubic hair sprouting out on either side, which looked tacky. Afterwards, it just became custom, and has remained so for almost twenty years. Not sure how this passed by Salon readers (haven't gone through all the responses, but quite a few of them).
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To Shave or Not To Shave?
When I first my wife, she was full-bushed. After a few times together, I casually asked her if she ever considered trimming it back. Being young and in love and wanting to please me, she tried it. Much to my delight, she liked the way it looked. Now, 17 years and hundreds of razors later, she still keeps it trimmed. Does she shave the entire area? No, although she has a couple of times - to satisfy hers and my curiosity. She commented two days ago, remarking on the fact that she can't believe she used to never shave before she met me. She's happy, I'm happy and we credit our happiness not to a set of smooth lips, but to our ability talk openly about anything and everything, including the often-perplexing topic of how our privates look.
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Why Are Americans OBSESSED with Pedophilia?
The whole pussy-shaving thing is yet another issue that drives otherwise reasonable people to become reactionary prudes, hurling cries of "pedophilia!" at the drop of a hat.
For God's sake, the current trend for shaved genitals is not driven by some barely-concealed lust for pre-pubescent girls on the part of average men. It is driven by pornography as a cultural trendsetter, and by the simple facts that men typically like smooth as opposed to rough; men are visually stimulated during sex and seeing everything clearly on display is very erotic; and cunnilingus is far more pleasant for both giver and receiver when it's performed on a trimmed or bare vagina.
It has nothing to do with looking like a girl, clearly evidenced by the fact that a full-grown woman--with hips, derriere, breasts and, hopefully, an adult confidence and desire for sex--does not suddenly become like a 12-year-old simply by shaving her crotch. This claim is idiotic, and I really wish people would leave it out of the debate.
That said, by all means grow your bush as wild as you like--it's your body. But don't vilify men for feeling comfortable and honest enough with you to discuss their quite common grooming preferences.
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Heavy sigh
Dear Cary,
All this letter made me wish for is a more innocent time. Look, I grew up in the 1970's on the beach in L.A. and I'm even a hippy, secular feminist type. I'm hardly a prude. But this letter, and the response, sincere as they both were, came across as just plain crass to me. I feel a bit guilty about that, no one was gratuitious or mean. I guess casually speaking of other women's genitals ("pussy" this and "pussy" that)seemed to have crossed some line in my soul. I wish we could find a way to be less gouche in our culture, fat chance I know.
Thanks for listening,
Jill Cerino
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you have GOT to be kidding me....
...this is today's topic?!?!
I sent you a letter awhile back that was not only well-thought out, timely and serious, but mostlikely would appeal to the salon.com readership and probably strike a few chords with many people. Seems to me you are taking the easy way out, Cary, by choosing these ridiculous fluffy letters to answer and ignoring the intelligent ones. There have been an awful lot of these fluff stories lately. Maybe it's time for you to throw in the towel and pass the torch.
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Fur
I have no opinion on the question at hand, but I just had to comment on this old cliché from the LW:
"I wonder if I will ever find The One, or if I will be a lonely old lady with cats who yells at the neighbors."
Please, LW, understand that it's not an either/or situation. There is a full spectrum of options in life. Hopefully, you will live a long life, and that life will include many fullfilling experiences. There's even a chance you may live both of these extremes along the way. Please, let's bury this cliché once and for all and get on with life.
Agreed, agreed, agreed. FWIW. I have three cats and all were co-acquired with men during the course of serious relationships. Many couples have cats. What is this constant theme that keeps cropping up of cats = loneliness? Sure, maybe if you're one of those crazy old bats who collects 77 of them and gets the Health Department sicced on her, but who's to say some of those COBs weren't married once, before any cats even showed up? Most probably were.
Now, regarding human fur. I have lots of it on my body, though for some reason it's relatively sparse in the nether lands. Keeping the hair on my face and neck at bay is practically a full-time job. I shave the legs and pits regularly in the summer, less often in the winter. I would only get a Brazilian wax under general anesthesia, and shaving the crotch? Bite me. I ain't getting no razor stubble, bumps and ingrown hairs Down There, cheeks. DB has no problem with any of this. If he wanted me to trim I'd do it, but so far no request has come forth to do so. I wear bathing suits with swimskirts or swimshorts, anyway.
All I can say is the cats probably think our entire species is insane. I can't in good conscience argue with them, either.
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My Husband's Perspective & Chemotherapy
I married a widower who had lost his wife to breast cancer, even with aggresive surgery and chemotherapy. The first time we were together, I was closely cropped and I had done lots of waxing and shaving over the years. He asked me to grow it in full, as the lack of hair reminded him of his late wife when the chemo wiped out all of the hair on her body. I was awair of the going bald with chemo but had thought it out that it would eliminate all the hair on one's body. So, at least that is one man's perspective.