Letters to the Editor
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Less shaving, more substance
I love it when I get up and see that Cary already has 103 responses. But it does make me wonder why bodily hair of any sort is such a huge deal. I think it has to do with control, in this case, the guy wanting to control the woman. But it happens with lesbians too. The most majorly controlling woman I've ever dated wanted me to trim, shave, and even made snide comments about hair in other places. She herself was trimmed like a topiary, and I found it so UNattractive. By the way, the sex was really bad, too. Quite frankly, it's not that hard to go down on a woman who has hair--you just hold it back. Risking embarrassing a woman by asking her to trim herself during sex is both lazy and unchivalrous.
So, my advice to the LW would be:
1) Date less superficial men.
2) Don't shave anyplace that leaves you in pain (this includes underarms).
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Less shaving, more substance
I love it when I get up and see that Cary already has 103 responses. But it does make me wonder why bodily hair of any sort is such a huge deal. I think it has to do with control, in this case, the guy wanting to control the woman. But it happens with lesbians too. The most majorly controlling woman I've ever dated wanted me to trim, shave, and even made snide comments about hair in other places. She herself was trimmed like a topiary, and I found it so UNattractive. By the way, the sex was really bad, too. Quite frankly, it's not that hard to go down on a woman who has hair--you just hold it back. Risking embarrassing a woman by asking her to trim herself during sex is both lazy and unchivalrous.
So, my advice to the LW would be:
1) Date less superficial men.
2) Don't shave anyplace that leaves you in pain (this includes underarms).
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Wow, this is funny
I am just amazed at how much hostility there is over this subject, most of it coming from the pro-bush camp.
Dear "It's not always easy being right all the time": where are you getting all of this hostility?
Just to clarify a couple of points:
Yes I think my pubes look much better waxed and groomed. I am also well aware that "pube" means pubic hair. If you correctly parse my sentences and apply some simple logic, I think you will understand that I favor waxing most, but not all, of the hair and keeping the whole area trimmed and pretty. If you were actually familiar with your own or anyone else's genitalia, you would know that there are a lot of variations between "bald eagle" and "au natural".
And yes, I do feel very strongly that lingerie looks prettier without big tufts of skanky hair sticking out. No, I do not have the days of the week printed on my Daisy Dukes as you implied-- my own tastes run more toward Cosabella, Agent Provocateur, and full-fashion stockings (ala Dita Von Teese). I absolutely LOVE high end lingerie, and put a lot of effort into the whole presentation. My delightful love life is the result.
Looking like a porn star and actually being a porn star are two entirely different realities-- you do understand that, don't you? I'm fine with the former and don't particularly need the latter (I'm a college professor), though I feel no judgement toward people who do sex work for a living.
Finally, I don't know what your problem is, but if you really feel that you need your parental approval for your sex life, I think you are courting some very serious hang ups.
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There's already 100 replies
So this one pro'lly won't get noticed, but I'm adding my two cents anyway.
Do what you want. My mother doesn't shave a lick, and her husband doesn't care, but that's because she married a european. Most americans have been convinced by media images and advertising that "Hair Is Bad!" and it was only a matter of time before that extended from our underarms and our legs to more private places. That doesn't mean you should buy into it. There are men out there who love hair down there. If they buy into mainstream media, they probably think they're freaks or fetishists.
As for the question, "Do all women shave?", I live in DC and I am under the impression that most of my girlfriends shave at least in some fashion, even if it's just their "Bikini Line", which I understand to mean "outside the lines that a normal, full pair of panties cover"--ie, the very tops of the inner thighs. One of them told me she brazillian waxes it all away, to which my response was the same as yours--eww, that's just pedophillic!
I do not shave my hair away, except for the aforementioned thigh-tops. I just keep it trim. It's to keep things getting long and scraggly, which to me looks messy. The reason I do so? Embarressing but true: I like I oral sex, but hair in my mouth makes me gag. So I ask my boyfriend to keep himself trim. Not shaven down to a little boy's look, just trim. In return, I do the same. It has nothing to do with porn, pedophillia or living in a metropolitan area...though those these things might have subconciously influenced me to like the way things look trim...
I started trimming because my best high school girlfriend was just utterly horrified that i didn't shave. "but you must!", she insisted one night during a sleepover. (It should be noted she has turned out to be very conservative and lives an appearance-based lifestyle.) I hated the way I looked shaved, so for years I didn't do anything. Developing the way I liked myself to look required me getting comfortable enough with myself and my body to experiment, which wasn't until my mid-20s.
And not to dis on Cary in anyway, because he was honest and upfront about not being comfortable answering your question: The right place for this letter, where the columnist would give you an answer, was "Savage Love."