Letters to the Editor
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Pluck to start
If you're uncomfortable with waxing, try plucking for starters. Get a great pair of precise-tip tweezers, start from the outside and work your way in. It can take a while, but you have control over how much you want to remove and if it becomes too painful just pluck a few hairs from each side every day until you get the desired look. I've found that if you exfoliate the plucked area regularly with a loofah or even a washcloth, ingrown hairs aren't a problem. I usually pluck enough to leave a semi-wide "landing strip". Plucking makes maintanance really easy and once a month is ususally enough.
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Hair today... gone tomorrow
Men have always had hair on their faces. Women have not.
Men have always had hair on their chests. Women have not.
In other words, it is a universal gender signifier: hairiness is associated with masculinity, smooth skin is associated with femininity.
Over the years, women have emerged from under corsets, coats and long skirts to become near/naked in virtually every part the mass media.
Thus, so ubiquitously commoditised, the western woman is subjected to ever increasing sociological pressure to render herself truly nude.
I don’t excuse or endorse this process, but fear it is as irreversible as the march of technology.
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To shave or not to shave
I shave my penis, scrotum and crotch area every now and then. Why? Do I want to look like a prepubescent child? Well, if I did, then I would also shave my legs, chest, stomach, back, beard, and ass.
Shaving your genitals is not necessarily about the creepy preteen look. Sometimes it's about better oral sex. Hairless genitals feel better in my hand and in my mouth, in my opinion.
Go ahead and leave your pubic bush untrimmed. No one's going to put that in your mouth. Just shave (or pluck, wax, etc.) the parts that you want to come in contact with your lover's lips and tongue, and leave the rest to grow naturally.
Leg hair? Armpit hair? Face hair? Chest hair? Who cares, let it grow. But if you want me to really get into putting my mouth on some part of your body, then I prefer it to be hairless. And I think I speak for many people, male and female, on this subject.
As other letter writers have stated, there certainly are creepy guys who prefer preteen-ish women with small breasts and no body hair. There are also fetishists who prefer women (and men!) with full pubic bushes, lots of body hair, etc. But you don't necessarily have to choose between these two poles -- you can just trim or shave the relevant parts. Leave the rest of the hair there.
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to shave...
I'm a 33 year old male and I like shaved pubes too. In fact I really don't like big hairy vaginas.
I certainly don't think you ought to shave your hairs if you don't want to, especially if it grosses you out to look at yourself (that's never good for sex). However if you meet a great guy who wants you to shave, I think it would be good to try it out, not just by doing it but also by trying to see why it gives him pleasure. Men don't all fancy pre-pubescent girls, that's not the reason why many men like shaved, at least it's not why I like it. It's because a shaved vagina is highly sexual. It amplifies, it shows off the vagina, it's a turn-on. It's also very good for cunnilingus. It's a little pornographic, yes, so what. Pornographic sex is hot, uncomplicated, sex-for-sex' sake and in my view that's a good thing when it's part of a loving and respectful relationship.
But... if you've tried it, really given it a go, and you just can't get used to the sight of yourself, or if you just don't like what it implies about how your partner sees you.. no one can force you. There's probably loads of guys out there who love pubic hair, in fact there's stacks of porn dedicated to the subject. And if they don't - they'll either learn to live with it (if you just don't like the lok of it and don't feel comfortable with yourself shaved), or they'll move on (if you don't like what it says about them).
Perhaps you could start by asking the next guy why he likes you shaved.
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Body preferences are NEVER free of cultural taint
HUMAN BEINGS have always had hair on their faces and the rest of the bodies. Approximately 40% of women in the U.S. have facial hair to such an extent that they pluck, wax, bleach, etc. (Check the depilatory aisle of your local supermarket.) If all the woman who have mustaches and beards stopped trying to hide this fact, this particular gender myth would explode.
A large number (more than you would think) of women also have hair on their chests, backs and nipples. It is NOT a defining characteristic of gender. So get over it.
Equating hairlessness or smoothness with attractiveness, with sexiness, with any attribute at all except hairlessness is culturally learned. And in our culture, smooth = young. It is also true that, in white Western culture, hairiness = nonwhite. (The old "closer to being descended from apes" bullshit). Just think about how much of the ridicule about "hairy" women focuses on women from cultures that are not Scandinavian-type white (or the fetishized Asian ideal, which also worships infantilism as a racist precept).
If your personal preference is for something that does not appear normally sexually mature or for something that does not look possibly "ethnic", then at least admit it instead of covering it up with semantics or the lame "it's just my personal preference". So is skin color, so is body type. And there are institutionalized oppressions based on those culturally-taught "preferences". If you admit it to yourself, you can perhaps do something about the lies that have shaped your preferences.
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Caveat
I recently decided, of my own accord, not on my husband's wishes, to shave. I figured, "What the hell?" It did spice things up for a week or so. It was a nice, sexy feeling (until it grew back).
Well, I was rewarded for my efforts with an awful primary outbreak of genital herpes. It seems that my husband's labial herpes (he was asymptomatic at the time, but apparently was shedding the virus) made its way into the myriad tiny cuts and other traumas induced by shaving and I got a full-blown, inside and out episode, after 9 YEARS of monogamous marriage.
The E.R. doctor-- because I had to be catherized-- said she was seeing more and more herpes in cases just like mine.
The bush exists for a reason. I for one am convinced.