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• Sunday, August 6, 2006 11:32 PM

  Where else to get advice and comfort

  Re previous postings: I think the boyfriend probably has someone else, since so often, women mourn and men replace. I also don't care for Cary's advice, which seems to be a lot of thrashing about with the gods instead of answering the question with concrete ideas and plans.

  I want to contribute one plan that helped me at a point when I was feeling really wounded, and it's a plan that works well for women: If you can afford it, see a wise woman nearly every day. That means--see a therapist, but also see a pedicurist (find one who speaks English), a manicurist, a hairdresser, a beauty waxer, a facialist, a massager (woman) . . . in short, talk every day with a woman who knows a lot about women and women's problems.

  This is a solution I first saw in (of all places), the movie "Legally Blonde," in which Reese Witherspoon's character is really put upon and decides to find herself a manicurist. It becomes immediately clear that she's much less concerned about her hands and much more about her psyche, and the manicurist is a great help as a listener and supporter.

  Also, the women in the beauty industry, a women's helping profession, are dedicated to making you feel good as well as look good. If you don't feel good, you won't go back to their salons.

  So that's my suggestion. Let the world of women be good to you, and be good to yourself. And don't go on a diet, which is often a women's way of handling stress. It just makes you feel cranky and deprived. As someone else said, have ice cream. Give yourself feasts. You're worth it.

  —Fiona Read Fiona's other letters
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