motra pa fymje,por thuji atij te shkoje te qihet dhe mer mendimin e familjes tate.ato e din ca o me mir per ty.bo si te duash,por ta dish qe e ke gabim.te kisha un moter ty ta tregoja qefin por qysh se ste njoh sme intereson.kom degju shum historina gocash shqiptare duke u martu me grek , italion,spanjoll dhe asnje nga kto ska nje fund te mir,me beso,gjej noj cun shqiptar edhe mbaje traditen.

Albania is "white" and infact the only atheist country in the world, and the only reason we were considered muslims (if you read the history) the turks took over us, and pretty much all of Europe, search up Skenderbeu to read the history of the Ottoman Empire, before you make stupid comments like that. I am Albanian and am not muslim, all of albania was orthodox until the ottoman empire took over, then people converted into muslim religion for their lives to be spared. Ske turp moj? Sikur ishje chupa ime, edhe une do te hiqja nga shtepia.

maybe you can contact me somehow!

Hi Cary,

I am Albanian also and my husband is black and white so I know exactly what you are going through. I am 22 years old and I got married to my husband in January and didn't tell my parents about it because I knew how they would react. I wish I could have had the wedding I always dreamed of but I guess that was never going to be possible. Now, my mom knows and we don't talk. I have been staying away from them now and I haven't even tried to talk to them because I know what they are going to say. I love my family but I also love my husband. I would love to talk to you more so please contact me!

Maybe LW can find herself a nice Serbian, Greek or Italian boy to put her parents in their place. The last time I checked, alot of Western Europeans don't exactly consider Albanians "white" since Albania was a mainly Muslim country before Hoxa and the Communist era. Maybe LW can turn that racism around on her parents to show them how stupid they're being?

There's nothing in the letter to suggest that religious belief is part of the problem here. Since skin color and race are mentioned, one could surmise that religion would have been specified if it was also an issue. Not everyone belongs to the religious majority of their country of origin...

> Albania

Religion

Religious worship was banned in 1967 but made legal again in 1989. Islam is now the most widely practised religion (70 percent, with a Sunni majority), followed by Christian Orthodox (20 percent) and Catholicism (10 percent).

Source: New Internationalist World Guide 2005/2006

> Panama

Religion

Some 80 percent of the population are Roman Catholic, with Protestant, Muslim, Jewish and Baha'i minorities.

Source: New Internationalist World Guide 2005/2006

an aspect of this that interests me is that Albanians while speaking an indo-european tongue and being indo-european are mostly traitors (the source of the Bosnian war...) who took up the islamic faith under the turkish tyranny.

Panamanian usually means papist religously.

so, will these muslm parents kill their daughter like other muslims do, if she disobeys the patriarchal orders? is this why she might be afraid?

how will they get along religiously?

do they actually believe, or are they free-thinkers?

21 is WAYYYY too young for someone to think they have found the love of their life. The vast majority of relationships that are formed at that age or younger do not last, and they just add more divorce and broken homes to the pile.

Of course, everyone is just dying to learn the lessons for themselves, rather than listen to us old people.

This story is as old as Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

One would think we'd have progressed a little. Seemingly not.

If you decide to go ahead and marry this guy anyway, LW, I think your parents will change their tune once you have children.

<< Maybe these parents also don't want their daughter to become something they'll no longer recognize.>>

She already has, they just haven't realized that yet.

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Can't help wondering what the Panamanian contingent thinks about the LW. Or do they also not know about her? How can a significant relationship remain hidden from the people you live with for over a year?

My advice: Get thrown out again, kid; it's a great way to make a break from controlling parents. So much easier than getting them to let you move out before marriage if you're female with old-country parents. Don't worry, you'll patch things up once you're out on your own. Start getting your finances, a job and housing lined up now. Establish some independence before getting married, though. Twenty-one is so very young, and forever is a long time.

LW - your parents will probably not accept your boyfriend until they absolutely have to. They don't want to look bad in front of the community, and your sexual behavior reflects on them even though their attitude is misogynist, racist, and generally un-American. (I say misogynist because I suspect your brother wasn't making simple conversation with your parents, but trying to control your sexual reputation). The solution is economic independence. Get a job, or if you have one, get a better paying one. Or get a degree, or if you have one, another more useful one. Just earn your way out of their control. Then when, and if, you decide to settle down with someone of a different race, they will just shake their heads and lament ever moving to America, but they will deal with it, and have no real power over you.

Several months ago, Cary got a letter from a white American man who was courting an Asian woman, whose parents fiercely disapproved of him. Cary's response was on a scolding note, saying that he's acting out the imperialist role, and the woman's parents were resisting their daughter becoming something they'll no longer recognize.

But when the woman is white (even if from an exotic, presumably Muslim family), all bets are off when she's courted by someone of another race. And the readers, as expected, denounce the parents as racist or whatever. Maybe these parents also don't want their daughter to become something they'll no longer recognize.