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Your quest for the "truth" completely bypasses your wife's physical and emotional well-being, which would be troubling in and of itself. But you compound the problem by the fact that you obviously don't believe or trust your wife, which suggests that either you want to believe the worst or that your wife already knows that she has done "the worst" thing imaginable so far as you are concerned. In either case, it sounds as if both of you are beginning to realize that you want different things. Give your wife six months to heal and then try to deal with that fact with the help of a counsellor. I don't think you will get it right on your own.