This letter is associated with the following article:
Letters
Wednesday, July 5, 2006 12:00 AM

How can I make my brother treat my mother better?

He's being thoughtless and insensitive to my mother -- and to me, too!

Read other letters about this article

  • Wednesday, July 5, 2006 12:10 PM

    Triangulation

    Your mom's triangulating, trying to either pull you in on her behalf and against your brother or trying perhaps to entice you to speak to your brother on her behalf behind the scenes. You might find it helpful to read "The Dance of Anger"--I forget the author's name--which deals with such issues.

    My mother used to pull this routine on me and my brother all the time...til he and I spoke and we mutually agreed not to play Mom's game. If she told him something negative about me, he'd advise her to speak with me directly...and wouldn't run off and tell me. I did the same for him. It's actually worked out very well. Mom is less inclined to do this these days--and my brother and I have kept our boundaries and communciations healthy.

    Also, my brother and I have what can be a brutually frank relationship--we always know where we stand with each other. In the end, we're each others' biggest supporters, perhaps outside of our respective spouses. No, we don't come from a highly confrontational background. We just resolved years back to be more loving and healthier toward each other than our mom is with her brother or was with our dad.

Most Active Letters Threads

447

The crazy, irrational beliefs of Muslims

Tom Friedman explains the real problem: stupid Muslims think the U.S. is about war and aggression.
426

A key British official reminds us of the forgotten anthrax attack

A vast array of establishment and expert sources do not believe this episode was really resolved.
210

Is Obama's civil liberties record understandable?

Was it unreasonable to expect him to adhere to his commitments regarding the Constitution?
111

How dare you criticize wasteful defense spending!

So you think it's only terrorist-appeasing lefties who are down on Pentagon profligacy? Think again
78

The face of rotted Washington

Evan Bayh demands more debt-financed war - fought by others - while boasting that he's a stern "deficit hawk."

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon