Oops. (Thanks anyway.)

THE HAPPY INTROVERT - A WILD AND CRAZY GUIDE FOR CELEBRATING YOUR TRUE SELF dispels the notion that introverts are losers. Loners sometimes, yes. Crazy, absolutely not. Not necessarily, that is. We're just fine, thank you, and I've written a whole book that proves it. In many ways, we're happier than extraverts. We have interesting inner lives, we make good friends for ourselves and for others, we have hobbies and careers that sustain us for the long run. We don't need to follow along with whatever the crowd is doing because we're independent thinkers. I'd hire us in a minute. But, of course, we're more cut out for certain kinds of jobs than for others. We don't tolerate noise well, for example. Why should we? And we can be left alone for a decent length of time concentrating on something in depth.

The personality tests are not biased. They can usually point out the introvert or the extravert. It's the country that's biased.

This culture almost expects introverts to have something wrong with them, but you know what? Extraverts can be weird, can be mass murderers, can be anti-social. They just do it in an extraverted way instead of in a quiet way.

The truth is, we need to have both. The truth is that all of us are both introverted AND extraverted and couldn't get through one single day without using both attitudes. It's just that if we use one in general more than another, we consider ourselves to be that one and we decide the other one is no good. One thing we need a lot more of is more acceptance and understanding. Still waters DO run deep. Get to know an introvert.

To those that have said the introverts should go back to the hole, let me reply that...

1. Online forums are the perfect way to get an introvert to express, and

2. WE HAVE OPINIONS and these opinions have been thoroughly explored in our introverted contemplative minds.

Or oxymoronic to want to find other people to relate to. I am only now at the age of thirty able to feel proud of being introverted. And that was from investigating issues of giftedness. Just like introversion, giftedness is often ridiculed by most other people. I'm not just sitting back and complaining that everyone else is superficial but they should like me anyway. I used to do that and it only brought me unhappiness. Now to be true to myself I seek out others who are like me. If not, I spend alot of time alone, which I actually enjoy but always grew up feeling guilty for doing so. That's why I say we should unite. That why it's a wonderful thing to find salon personals or okcupid.com. While I like my alone time, I also want to live with people who won't ridicule me. As for the job situation, I am moving to a different city where I'm told superficiality is frowned upon. Otherwise the only jobs I could find that would appreciate me are at independent bookstores. While it's a terribly fun job, getting paid $7 per hour and having to wait a year for benefits isn't really feasible.

I was once involved in the production of the play, "A Thousand Clowns," which was written in about 1960 (the movie starred Jason Robards and Martin Balsam). Anyway, young Nick lives with his uncle, Murray, who's something of a bohemian and gets all the best lines. Enter two social workers who have the power to take the boy away to a foster home. As the awkward visit is ending, we get this:

Woman S.W.: We've gotta go; we'll be late to our next appointment.

Male S.W.: Ah, yes, Tommy, the introverted child.

But in the very last sentence of her letter, she writes, "just the portrait of someone who's desperate to pay her bills on time."

Still, you make valid arguments.

This really is a great thread, much more interesting than so many of the others. Maybe there is a way to somehow get introverts to come together?

Something funny is going on here. Even though the LW never said a word about its gender, several commentators here have assumed it is a woman. The answer to why this could be so might fill a small volume and would range from theories about discourse, linguistics, declared insecurity, job applicants, advice columns and whatnot. But I very much doubt that a theory about the perception of intro/extroversion could be rammed in as an explanation for those commentators' assumption, without making it sound like the sort of gender prejudice that equates introversion/female, extroversion/male, and an unconscious relapse to the times when paid jobs were preferably given to males. If job application personality tests have a bias (ie, a prejudice) against introversion, or against any one of the established types that make up humanity, I say ban them.

Also, when it comes to personality and character, decision-makers have tried forever to get support from careful, rational, discriminating categories; but decisions thus made have forever backfired in the end anyway, and will continue backfiring, because nobody really likes to fit into a category and will always try to outwit whatever method is used to test them.

So let's stop trying to avoid risk. Risk-avoidance is what's been making life more dangerous.

I've read letter upon letter from introverts complaining that they don't "fit in" to mainstream society, only to then criticize mainstream society as being superficial. It strikes me as a kind of childish "I don't like you, but I want you to like me anyway" kind of attitude.

I test as an INFJ/INTJ. Neither one is particularly prevalent in society. And I certainly agree that there is much bias out there, even fear of, the introverted-intuitive mindset.

However, part of the reason that society views I-N's as "misfits" is because I-N's view *themselves* as misfits! No doubt because they have grown up in a culture that doesn't reflect who they are internally. I think it is important for I-N's to stop complaining that they are not accepted, and just stand tall in who they are. Yes, I'm going to do poorly on a corporate test designed to measure how malleable I am. I consider that a good thing, to "fail" such a test! I-N's need to spend more time using their gifts, and less time worrying about what a bunch of people they don't like anyway think.

I don't mean to minimize the LW's money worries. But, dear LW, you were meant for more than this! Every conventional door that closes is pushing you one step further towards something that will allow you to be who you are. Be happy that you're being "weeded out" of what, for you, would be a miserable existence!

When the going gets tough, I-N's get creative!