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• Tuesday, June 13, 2006 09:52 PM

  What do you really want?

  I am struck by what you said:

  "I don't want to cut my brother out of my life or my daughter's ..."

  As another eldest sibling, I can commiserate with you, since your relationship with your younger brother sounds suspiciously like my relationship with my younger sister. If I could have molded her into a responsible and respectful person, and yet keep her fun and quirky spirit, I would have done that long ago.

  But people are what they are and no matter how much we wish, we cannot change them. And yet, having grown up with that irresponsible, self-centered, crazy person, there is that strange desire to want them in your life, no matter how frustrating they can be.

  So, even though you are overwhelmed by your crazy life (to me "toddler equals craziness," even when they're a sweet-as-pie, "sucker baby"), find yourself a few minutes to talk to your brother. Wish him luck on his move to Europe and tell him that you will miss him, because, undoubtedly, you will.

  But, do not bring up the frustrations of the past. Look at your present and accept that while you have little time for each other now, hopefully you will have more time for each other in the future.

  —sqweekee Read sqweekee's other letters
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