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Thursday, June 8, 2006 12:00 AM

My queer radical feminist peers are aghast that I want to marry

I'm only 21 but I'm itching to get hitched!

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  • Thursday, June 8, 2006 02:48 PM

    Been there done that

    Cary hit the nail on the head...

    After a liberal upbringing that sounds not wholly dissimilar to the writer's, I got engaged at 21 and married at just-barely-23. I lived with internal feminist guilt about it for the first three or four years before I finally accepted that, yes, I had made exactly the right choice for me. Seven years on and recently saying goodbye to our twenties (I know that's not a lot yet, but I can't help my age), my husband is my best friend, and neither of us feels like we missed out on anything except a lot of horrid bad-date stories.

    The contemporary ideology that says we all need to spend several years after college on our own to be happy, self-actualized adults is just that - an ideology, a statement of values disguised as a statement about human nature. If you don't want the solo path, and you've found the right partner, then go for it! (But do live with the guy for at least a few months before the wedding to make sure you're really compatible.) Just find some friends who aren't so judgmental.

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