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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
My husband used to get upset that I read romance novels, because he thought I was looking for something from the heroes that I could not get from him. When we finally talked about it, I was able to reassure him that those books just give me the thrill of a first kiss, first time to make love together, first child, etc., that I will never have again because I have (happily) found one man to spend the rest of my life with. Just as I understand that he occasionally watches porn for the "new and different woman factor". I would much rather him to that than turn to *real* new and different women, and he has learned to accept my fantasy of meeting and loving different men in a way that is not a betrayal of our marriage.
I also read them before I got married, but understood that just as I was not perfect like the heroines in them, it was not realistic to expect real men to be perfect like the heroes. The letter writer needs to come to grips with this fact and learn to enjoy those books *because* they can never come true. I mean, would she really want to go through the trauma that happens in most of them just to get a guy that may be great for 300 pages, but will change and be imperfect over the long haul?
Go out and enjoy the world, and you will meet someone who makes you feel like you do when you read those fantasies, eventually. Just keep your expectations realistic, as you want men to keep them for you.
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The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
