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Read other letters about this article
As skwilson noted, it is the small things that one might overlook in the romance novels that make a difference in loving relationships. Allowing one's significant other to catch a few more minutes of snooze by herding the cats out of the bedroom. (Hmm, "herding cats"...maybe that's bigger than I thought .) My partner's told me for years that these are the things that she finds "romantic" because she feels "heard" when I do them.
We still give each other cards, no-special-occasion gifts, etc. Even do the occasional "grand gesture" of flowers, dinner with candles and such. But the "romantic" gestures of every day life and something seemingly mundane as taking the time to listen to the other are what bind our relationship and help keep the "romance" alive.
I hope the LW finds her true love and herds cats every so often, as needed. ;-)
