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Maybe the way to give up the fantasy romance you have created is to study a little bit closer the real-life ones you observe. For example, it is wonderful and rare that after 35 years of marriage your parents are still in love, but doubtful that their romance has anything in common with the grocery store bodice rippers. Ask real couples you know, both the happy and less than happy ones, what they believe is the secret to romantic love. Chances are it has more to do with being interested and interesting than it does with any formula in a book.
JKerrigan
P.S. To change the story in your mind, change the stories you read!