I married my then girlfriend years ago so that she could become a citizen. She was English, and therefore a low-risk alien as far as immigration is concerned. We moved in together and shortly thereafter things went rapidly downhill. It had nothing to do with the "marriage," which she took much more seriously than I did, to my somewhat alarmed surprise, but more to do with the nature of the relationship. Namely, it turned out to be a disaster. This is the problem, as far as my experience goes.

You are signing a bargain with someone you don't know to be a roommate and co-conspirator, which means you have to trust each other, be there for him, support him, show up at interviews, sign forms, bla bla bla, all the marriage and INS regulations: have joint bank accounts, joint bills, joint everything. What they look for is documentation. Papers. And you are going to be stuck with this person for anywhere up to the two years it takes to gain citizenship. In may case, it dragged out for 6 years because my "wife" went about the process haphazardly and irresponsibly. As I said, you don't really know who you're signing a bargain with. So then you're stuck with filing taxes together, getting divorced, etc. Assuming your "husband" is willing to pay for all this, which you have no guarantee of, it's still a major pain in the ass. Take it from me. I regretted every day of it. And I did it for a favor. I received nothing in return but aggravation.

In my case, after six months of testy and barely tolerable cohabitation, my "wife" moved out, and soon after, I moved to a different state. Still we were tied together, through the IRS and the INS. She had to fly me back to her state for an interview, which she was not even prepared for; it was a disaster. Years later she finally did get her paperwork finished, and it was none too soon before I filed for divorce through a discount law service, all of which my "wife" willingly paid for; as by this time she'd had a baby with another boyfriend, of which I was the "legal" father until the real father finally adopted it several years later. These are the kind of headaches you don't think of until they come up. But they might, and you are still stuck with them.

Then, as Cary suggested, which also happened to me, what if you meet someone in the meantime that you really do want to marry? You're stuck in limbo. The odd thing was, at the time I was dating another women who was also in an "Immigration" marriage, and she was living with her "huband" while we were dating, which was even weirder when I found out they had slept together for a brief time when they first moved in together. It keeps getting more twisted.

You see where this is leading? Don't go down that path. It's not worth it.

>>I'd like to hear from people who have gone through the immigration process by marriage and see if their experience relates to mine (or not!)>>

I haven't married an alien (I know, I keep visualized little green men, LOL), but I was a reference for a couple applying and was interview by the INS. I have to say your story of NO questions and no hassles and no redtape is quite atypical, pretty amazing.

My friends had to go for YEARS of interviews. They had to give references of social friends who'd been in their home. They were asked a lot of intimate questions to see if they really share a bed, bathroom, meals, etc. The INS asked me questions about proof they were living together as a couple. My next door neighbor went through the same thing and she told me they had to drive an hour to the INS office twice a year for years and there were tons of interrogations. Everything I've heard is similar.

Your story of NO questions at all is pretty unique. Was this back after WWII or something, seriously? Maybe it's easier if you spouse is in the military? seriuosly, your story is so grossly different from all I've heard, there must be some factor that makes it not representative.

And as to the other poster who said once they get the green card, it's all resolved? Wrong. You CAN be deported even after getting a green card! Post 9/11, a green card is no guarantee. The story I read in the paper, not only did the woman have a green card, but she'd been living in the US for years, was married to a citizen for years. You don't automatically get citizenship for marrying a citizen now. But something came up the INS didn't like and they deported her.

I'm sure glad that Congress and right wing groups spend so much time and energy on not allowing gays (many of whom have been together for decades) to marry and mercenaries such as the LW get to marry for money. Love, family values? Has the LW thought about getting a loan to start her business?

A niggling point: the phrase is "all tolled", not "all told". The saying means that you have "tolled" all the pluses and minuses.

Good answer.

Do NOT do this. Cary is quite poetic about the philosophical and moral reasons not to do this, but there is a solid practical one too.

The immigration service will investigate you, and your husband, and your life together, from hell to breakfast if they even SUSPECT fraud is involved. They will question your friends about how the two of you met, how long you knew each other, and what is known about your sex life. Have you confided in a friend about your plan for a fake marriage? Don't expect the friend to lie for you when the feds come calling. And your bank, and your spouse's, won't lie either when the feds show up with subpoenas for your bank records to see if you were paid for this.

How do I know all this? I once worked with a woman who married a man who was an emigrant to this country. I was the one who covered her job over the months she had to go to the immigration service for repeated interviews, meet with her lawyer, organize friends to testify for her, etc.

There's got to be an easier way to get start-up capital than inviting a federal investigation.