It's only in the last hundred years or less that we've turned it into a source of emotional fulfillment, and it's even more recently that our society has gotten obsessed with the notion of soulmates. I don't have a problem with people marrying for reasons other than love as long as everyone's up front about their motivations. Just because it didn't work for Charles & Di doesn't mean it can't work for you.

However, your situation doesn't make sense to me. A business partner or investor is a lot easier to live with (and to get rid of) than a husband, especially one you've picked essentially at random. If your proposed spouse is rich enough to fund your business, he ought to have enough money to start his own business in the US, which is another route toward permanent resident status. Why should either of you take this highly inconvenient route to get where you want to go?

Go back and read Mack's letter about the practicalities of the situation. Read every single number because he is exactly right. I know b/c I'm 6 months into a marriage with a Russian citizen (whom I do love and we have a "real" marriage). But it is a HUGE cluster-f*** and the INS is truly the most incompetent and rude organization you will ever encounter (in this country anyway). It's a bad, bad idea.

If you want to start a business, you don't need to marry someone with money. There are many ways to raise startup capital (savings, credit cards, loans, family members, outside investors, etc.), each with its benefits and drawbacks, plus a number of organizations that can assist you with the process. You need to do some serious thinking about why you believe a greencard marriage is a better idea than, say, applying for a small business loan. The risk of running afoul of the INS and screwing yourself over royally in a sham marriage doesn't seem to be worth the benefit.

If your business idea is so vague or far-out that you can't get financing from the usual sources, it is probably not viable. Writing a business plan and going through the process of lining up startup capital will help you figure out whether it has a chance to work out or not.

the penalties would, I imagine, be rather severe. The whole immigration thing is such a hot button now, I'm sure stronger legislation against green card marriages is just around the corner. From this purely practical standpoint, I would say no.

I got married because if my boyfriend and I wanted to stop the torture of a long-distance relationship, that was the only way to go. I probably would not have gotten married had there been an "easier" way for him to live in my country or me in the US.

I was terrified at the prospect of the interviews, medical examinations, and excessive request of official documentation! But everything went very smoothly. We even brought our wedding album to the last interview, but were not required to show it. The interview took less than three minutes (a little bit longer to get my visa). I walked out of there with my passport stamped and received my green card a few days later.

I have spoken with other people, and no of them has had to prove that (including myself):

a) they sleep with their partner

b) they live together

c) they *really* love each other

d) they have proof they'll be together 'til death do them part

e) other proof of eternal love

f) all of the above

g) none of the above

One poster offered that maybe the process was different for foreigners depending on their country. I do believe that might be true. I think that my being Canadian made me less of a threat and probably more *acceptable* -- though I am from a visible minority group. Then again, I came to this country before 911 which, as another poster previously stated, has changed quite a lot in the immigration process. The first change is that the INS is now called Homeland Security -- a little bit more ominous for a department name I would say. It's a bit more difficult (but is not reminiscent of Hollywood movies).

Disclaimer: This post was made only as a personal opinion published on a public forum. The author does not profess to be a specialist in the subject, nor does the author imply that the anecdotes, events, suggestions, etc. listed in her post applies to the entire universe. Please refrain from giving me crap about how in *your* life what I said is completely wrong and irrelevant, that I suck but you're enlightened. Thank you

I'd like to hear from people who have gone through the immigration process by marriage and see if their experience relates to mine (or not!)

Not to suggest this is necessarily relevant to the LW, but there was just a murder case in my city that is related. Someone here on a student visa (and not doing well, was worried about having to go home, disappoint the parents, etc.) kidnapped a child from her bed to get a ransom to raise money to buy a fake marriage to try to stay in the country. The child was killed (he claims she suffocated) but her remains weren't found until months later. The parents had to live out their anguish on television and the whole thing was just horrendous.

I fully agree with all the reasons given not to do this. This is just one more thing to think about. Are you comfortable you know where the money you'd be paid came from? (From sources you're OK with, even leaving aside the purchased marriage?)

What a quaint way to refer to one's potential husband.

Let's assume that we live in a relativist universe, and laws are written to be broken, and it does not matter what we do to further our dreams. Even then, not all crimes have an equal opportunity at success. The success of your crime totally depends on this alien's honesty and intentions. We know he is not honest from this proposal.

First find out what the legal punishment from the US government for this this crime is. Just in case you are discovered, you'll know the routine. If you can live with that, then at least do some alien research so that your chances for a good outcome are better.

Most important things to research are:

1. What is the country of origin of this alien? what are the attitudes towards wives and women in that country?

2. What are the chances that this alien will bring over a ton of relatives to live with you? After all you are married and he misses his family, possibly including his real wife and children

3. What are the chances that this alien can have you killed? Is there a large crime syndicate here in the US of nationals from the same place as he is? Once the papers are signed for a green card (which by the way is PINK these days) you become superfluous.

4. What are the chances that this alien will take the money he gave you and his fresh new pink card, leaving you in the middle of the night? Are you going to report him to the INS? No way.

5. How is this money transfer to you going to be made so it does not trigger a tax audit? As cash into a safe deposit box? or into mutual accounts of a husband and wife after you are married in which case it is his money and not yours, where it can disappear as quickly as it appeared.

LW, you sound way too naive to undertake this type of larceny. You are worrying about quaint "consummation" non-issues when there are so many other real dangers facing you.

If you are going to do this (and it sounds like you have justified it to yourself from your letter) open your eyes, and investigate this "rich" alien.