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THEY have invited you out of their lives. Stay out. You don't seem so concerned with their wellbeing, as injecting yourself, unwelcome, back into their lives. Stay out. It has been a few years since these two have wanted you around. Go and get some other friends. You sound like you're jealous because you wanted this man to be gay, just like you. You sound conflicted about your orientation and want him as a compatriot. Possibly he really is gay, even probably-- if your information about his gay affair is true-- but it's not your business. Stay out. Go and get a life and let these two be. Stay out. Cary's advice is horrible, the wife already knows her husband is gay at some level, or she wouldn't have been asking. She doesn't want or need your information, or she would have further pursued it. Go ahead and write your letter, if you must seek your revenge, but do not expect anything more than a restraining order in response. Stay out, stay out, stay out.