Nothing more, nothing less, nothing special.

She has convinced herself she's above it all.

Isn't that special?

"...there are a lot more freaks like the one LW has

issues with than not..."

After this I'll resist further defense. Anyone who's

been right-place, right-time with a church will have

warm strong feelings for that community. Anyone who

who had expectations that weren't met may move on or

become bitter. That's not unique to UUism.

Sorry your hopes were disappointed, but name-calling is

usually an indicator of unfinished business. I am

truly sorry it didn't work for you.

www.uua.org is a good place to read.

www.beliefnet.org has a good forum on UUs too.

Last word's yours...

Best wishes,

But in practice?

Remember, 90% of the people are here because they were fucked up or fucked over by their previous religion. Let's just say many have quite a few serious "issues" that haven't been worked out. Now we find ourselves in a group that essentially says "anything goes" with a post-modernist twist: Gosh, who are we to say your "unique interpretations" are better than mine?

Look in the dictionary under "inertia." It says, "see any UU committee."

Visit our webpage and read. Skim the hymnal, especially the writings in the back. Excellent, respectful, thoughtful, and it actually works in practice when folks give it a chance. After 20 years and about 5 congregations, I find myself a better UU the farther I get from them on a Sunday morning or on any evening committee.

It's worth a try. Just don't expect a panacea, even if you're willing to volunteer all your time and money. Because there are a lot more freaks like the one LW has issues with than not. And they want to teach your kids.

Come join us some Sunday.

I've been UU for a loooong time (in 5 churches in

3 states) and none fit your scathing profile. There

are tree-huggers and Republicans and blue-haired

ladies and aging activists who marched at Selma and

ex-Methopresbycathojewbapchristerians who sought

a more expansive theology. And Sikhs.

And Christian UUs. We're all in it together.

You paint with a broad and tarry brush. Sorry you

haven't found anything good to say, but we grownups.

I value the diversity and tolerance and strong-

mindedness of my UU extended family.

There's always room in the pew (except we're

growing rapidly so you might have to get friendly).

... and, you're right: it HAS come a long way since then. From my experience, it's now a bastion of nutcase Pagans, weird polyamorists, wounded fundie offspring, and all-around damaged folk. Our recent experience in a UU church was a far, far cry from the socially-conscious, grounded, boundaried, snatch-you-baldheaded-if-you-stepped-out-of-line moms and dads who marched at Selma and taught us all about world religions at Sunday School. You can have it.

I apologize. I don't mean to hijack this thread, but the whole non-confrontational thing in the face of realio trulio inappropriate behavior in a kid's RE class has me just fuming. Grow some balls, LW, and keep these kids SAFE.

It was a relief to read your perspective.

The UU church has evolved and changed like many

others, and the OWL curriculum has, too.

I believe even some traditional churches have

had abuse issues, boundary issues. And it's very

true that "wrong" people are drawn to teaching in

many settings. (What is WITH these pop-ups that

block the view...)

First, I would face this

woman and tell her in plain English and with heat:

"The way you are talking to these children about

your sexual experience is completely inappropriate

and you must stop it IMMEDIATELY." If she failed

to button it then and there, then I'd go to the DRE,

the minister, the oversight committee, or all three.

I may be a UU, but I'm a mother tiger first. Anybody

who indulged their sexual fantasies in my presence

at children's expense would find my fangs extremely

close to their nose and hear growling that

would rattle their skulls.

We UUs have come a long way since our hippie days,

so give us a break. Individual bad experiences do

not a denomination damn.

It is a beloved community.

Thanks to whomever posted the OWL guidelines, which are much shorter and succincter than my letter, and yes, the senior minister should be involved, and most definitely the director of religious education. (Sorry--I thought that was obvious.)

Every church has conflicts of some kind, and in every denomination--Methodist, Baptist, or UU--you'll find churches that are themselves dysfunctional in one way or another. Personally, I've never been part of a Unitarian church that, whatever petty feuding might go on between certain members, didn't, as a whole, adhere to the guiding principles of the UUA and take them very seriously. The most important of these is seeing and respecting the dignity and worth inherent in every person, and it's not hard to see that this needs to be a priority for RE teachers.

The situation the LW described is probably pretty damn rare, all things considered, and it would be rarer still for the DRE not to act appropriately in response--the swift actions of our religions education minister would probably be very much the norm. After the incident, everything was absolutely fine. At the end of the year, the kids and their parents wrote us lovely notes--some of them thanking us for making them feel safe and giving them the confidence to talk about things that were sometimes hard to discuss. We knew all the parents very well, and they knew and trusted us--in fact, they usually came in and talked to us at the end of class. It was critical to us to have their trust and support.

That people get into teaching for the absolute wrong reasons happens everywhere, and I'm sure that for every flaky wacko found in a UU church, there are ten with equally freaky ideas teaching Sunday school in Christian congregations. It can be prevented. Instead of slamming the OWL curriculum, get involved--get on your RE or Sunday School committee, volunteer yourself to teach or help in the classroom, and above all, get to know your children's teachers as well as possible. And if a church is too screwed up for you to do this, then leave, but don't blame it on the denomination.