Letters to the Editor
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It's time to feed your soul
This letter really struck me because I'm also one trying to get out. I've worked in an AA job for almost nine years and I too have a college degree. Not sure which camp I fall into according to "Epizia's" classifications of secretaries, but I'm sure I wouldn't want to be on her/his team as it were.
In any case, there are a million reasons why folks stay in unfulfilling jobs. I knew from day one that the AA route was not for me and it had nothing to do with arrogant notions of "it's below me" and (true quote from a co-worker at the time)"my daddy didn't send me to college so I could be someone's secretary!" I needed a job, experience in the "real world" and it seemed like a good place to be while I figured things out. During the nine years, I was confused about what work to pursue and then scared to go after it. I had fallen flat on my face in my first "real" job so I didn't want to do that again. I got closer to figuring things out by reading about a variety of fields, taking classes, and working with a life coach. Instead of going from job to job or traveling or whatever some people do to find their calling, my way was most comfortable for me.
I'm now in my early 30's and trying to embark on a new path and scared as ever. Looking back, I always knew what my niche would be, but ran away from it because it seemed far fetched and impractical.
So, LW, take the great advice from folks who say to plan an escape route and then take the plunge. I KNOW how difficult it is. Don't waste any more time. Best of luck to you!
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Think, yes, but...
In psychology we have a saying "Paralysis through analysis". I think this is a cousin to an earlier posting mentioning the better being the enemy of the good enough (or something like that).
In other words, it is good to think about options but there is a point where you think so much you don't DO anything, which is basically making a choice by default.
When re-reading the letter, it occured to me that the LW should rule out depression. Some aspects of her letter do sound like depression, which should be addressed. Not that a dead-end job couldn't cause depression, but if you're depressed all jobs look like dead-end jobs.
I still think she should go for it.
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Dear Letter Writer
I'm about your age and the death of my beloved mother-in-law 2 years back really struck me too. I'm sorry for your loss. Once our parents die we are the older generation. Our future is more obviously now and the finite nature of our life on earth is clearer than when we were young.
It sounds to me like you are in the perfect situation to find more meaningful work--your husband is supportive, you don't need the money (it is not as if you won't ever earn any ever in the future.) Here is how I think of it; I will probably end up working through my 70s. A couple of years every decade or so doing something besides getting a paycheck is great if you can swing it. Our generation may not have the Golden Years of retirement to look forward to.
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There's more to life than financial security.
Dear LW,
I wanted to share a bit of my own life in response to your letter. I became self-supporting at the age of 16 when my family dissolved through unfortunate circumstances. I put myself through college with scholarships, loans, and part-time jobs, and chose to study a subject I loved though it was financially impractical. I have never held a corporate job or anything I could describe as soul-sucking for more than a few weeks at a time, because life is precious and I hated wasting it. I have worked instead for fascinating individuals and fun places, usually for basic pay and never with benefits. I spent years exploring my dreams and goals and am now earning a professional degree in holistic medicine so that I can help others achieve true health and live their dreams. I have a beautiful daughter and loving partner. Though I spent ten years far below the poverty line in terms of income, have never had a savings account and have only recently been able to get health insurance, my life has been rich, rewarding, and I have always managed to make it work out.
LW, take the leap. Life is a gift. You clearly have a deep sense of responsibility to your family and their secure future. Trust that you will retain that responsibility as you search for work that is more meaningful.
People, financial security is not the sum total of why we're here. I had the fortune of coming across this philosophy as a teenager: "Do what you love, and the money will follow." I have found it to be true. Good luck to you.
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Nothing to show for it?
Just wanted to bring up something that's been overlooked in the last few pages of responses: The letter writer says she's been working for years with nothing to show for it. But just a few sentences earlier, she said that her earnings have gone to her daughter's college fund, to the family's savings and additional expenses like birthday gifts or car repairs.
All of those are something to show for her work and sacrifices. Her daughter has a college fund that is growing. Her family has savings that are growing. There is a cushion against the unexpected. All of those are something to show for her labor.
There is dignity in working to help provide for her family and for their future.
Now maybe the best that she can do really is something else. But I hope that she will remember that every job has its drudgery (if it wasn't work, they would call it something else), that every drudgery has its value, and that providing for the family is always worthy of respect. Maybe she can and will do better, but "nothing to show for it" is not quite accurate, and perhaps remembering that will help her make wise choices.