Letters to the Editor
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Plan your exit strategy
Dear LW--
Why not see what you can gain from your present situation before you write the resignation letter? Will your company pay for classes? Can you see a career counselor on their dime? Any re-training opportunities? Any bosses with whom you get on--can you ask their opinions? Do you belong to any organizations outside of work --or do you volunteer anywhere that might turn into a career?
Cary's advice is bold and dramatic, but a little short on actual steps to take. You're not being selfish at all , but just giving 2 weeks notice without some sort of plan is selling yourself short. Get engaged in your exit strategy and you might find yourself engaged in other aspects of your life, as well.
But here's the bad news--all jobs have back-stabbing, politics and pettiness. There's no Utopia, Inc. Take a good look at yourself, at your skills and talents and see what else might interest you before you take the big jump.
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Perpective?
To LW: when you are 70 years old, will you regret sticking it out more or will you regret breaking loose more?
If your daughter was in this position, would you want her to stay with the mindless safe option or take the unknown, slightly scary option?
What's the worst that can happen? Probably nothing worse than what you've described...so you have nowhere to go but up. A lot of women want to try something new in their 40's and your husband has given you his blessing. I say go for it: go back to school, do some volunteer work, find out what makes think and ask questions and have conversations about with your husband and friends. Life is too short for unnecessary tedium.
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I did this last year
I once had a soul-destroying admin job.
I wrote that resignation letter, and went back to college full time to pursue a "worthless liberal arts degree". My soon-to-be-ex-coworkers were bemused, and I think, a bit envious. I'm just sorry I waited until my mid-30's to do it!
Quit that job, LW! Don't go the route of seeing if the company will pay for classes. That will just prolong your cube-farm agony.
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It could be worse...
...you could have Cary's job. Nowhere to go but down. Really, what does "advice columnist" prepare you for in terms of a career move? The "Dear Abby" gig went the nepotism route. Even "Hints from Heloise" went to her daughter. Hey, maybe that's why he's so keen on you quitting your soulless job ASAP...he's already put in an application! I'd be extra careful if I were you, LW. You think this Salon gig carries a pension or even sick leave?
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Then leap ...
Dear LW,
I like the idea of finding a little more information before you leap.
I would add exploring what you would like to accomplish with what interests you. There are always boring bits to a job, so it really helps to have a concrete purpose that you can really get behind. What legacy would you like to leave the world? Read 'Man's Search for Meaning', in which Victor Frankl (a Holocaust survivor) says that human beings can endure any 'how' if they have a 'why'.
As a practical experiment, do some of the self-tests that indicate aptitude (for logic, or math, or people skills, or business skills, etc.). What kind of environment would you like to work in? What kind of people, tools, pace, purpose? Your college might have info about career choices that would be helpful, and they are interested in helping alums, not just recent graduates.
As a veteran of several jobs and 2 different graduate schools, I recommend leaping. It'll be tough, hard work, but you'll feel so much more alive.
Good luck!
Robin W.
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Pony up for career counseling
You've said you can afford it, and if you check around and get references (use your company's EAP!) you should be able to find someone who can help you figure out your passions, talents, and interests, and put them all together into a career you'll find fulfilling.
Unless, of course, what you really want to do is stop working and become that Supermom/Superwife combination that seems to have gone out the window as a "legitimate" choice for empowered, intelligent women.
Hell, if I could afford it, that would be the route I'd take. But regardless, the path you're on is one you don't want to be on. No matter what's at the end of this road, you don't want to end up THERE.
So do whatever it takes to find another path! You're in an enviable position; most people will never have the financial and emotional support it takes to really do what you want to do.
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So what's the plan then?
LW~
Life is too short to be doing something that crushes your spirit. I think we can all agree on that.
But what is your plan? What do you want to do other than get out of the employment situation you are in?
Having a goal can help get you through the day. Like, "If I can stand this for another 6 months, and really save, and speak to my daughter about upcoming changes in the family's finances, then I can finally quit and do ****.". Keep a calendar. Mark big 'X's' on it at the end of each work-day. Have something to look forward to. Remember what it was like when you were young and the possibilities! Try some therapy, and visit a career advisor. You wouldn't be the first to completely change a career in your 40's.
What can be worse that hitting your senior years, looking back, and thinking, "Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda."
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sorry to rain on the parade....
If LW has another job in mind, then maybe this doesn't apply... but if she's just thinking of quitting because it's dull, well, maybe what's in order is a change in attitide (as platitudinous as that sounds). Most 43 year olds with 6 year old children have dull jobs. But they're thinking - god. she's ready for college in 12 years, I'd like to retire in 20, and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for either. If you're in a position where all earnings go to saving for the kids and for you... that's a tremendous blessing. Because you might drop dead in your fifties... but you probably won't. These are the trade offs we all make. I might die tomorow afternoon, but I probably won't, so I'll get up and go to work tomorrow - because that's the right choice for all of the tomorrows that will more than likely come after that.