And I doubt someone who wears leather pants would live in that area, anyway. There are thriving music and gay scenes in cities such as Chapel Hill, as well as most of the other college towns in the state. Areas like Asheville manage to combine progressive and crunchy.

You shouldn't look at articles about crazy people from Charlotte and think that goes for the entire state.

Today's letters are utterly hilarious. But I gotta comment on some of them...

1. All of North Carolina is not some homophobic backwoods. I've lived in NC off and on for 2 decades, and waited tables and bartended in more than my fair share of establishments. Although none of them were gay bars, I would not have hesitated to send a drink from a gay couple to another couple.

It isn't irrelevant that he's in NC, but come on, ya'll are acting like the entire state is homogeneous.

2. I don't think anyone, especially Cary, equated being well-dressed with possibly being gay. I think if you add everything up, the case gets stronger, but that's neither here nor there.

3. And to the poster who suggested that there wouldn't be a problem if the situation were flipped and the wife was asking how to spruce up her hubbie, I think you're dead wrong.

If a woman went out, dressed to the nines, accepted drinks from people of any gender, joined them at their table, and was then amused by their sexual attentions and somehow blamed her husband, Cary and everyone else on the planet would recognize that there were some BIG issues stewing underneath her "who me?" facade. Don't be dense.

Ok, had to get that out. On with the fun.

It's one thing to be hit on by gays or straights, whatever your inclination being, but to flirt mercilessly in front of your wife is just plain rude and inconsiderate. Everyone knows that being bought a drink is a pick up move. So to take that pick up move and say hey honey, wanna watch these guys flirt with me, won't that be fun; then to blame being hit on because she dresses frumpy!! He does it with gay guys because he knows that if some women sent over a drink he would in no way have been able to accept the attentions without looking like a total ass. Perhaps he does want more attention from his wife, either in her cooing over him about how hot he is, or by taking the time to dress up, but what a back assward way to go about it.

My husband is attractive and has been hit on by both gay and straight people, he is a great big flirt, alas, so am I, but we NEVER flirt with people IN FRONT of our spouse and I have refused drink offers from men when I was with him. It's just a way to incite jealousy or hurt feelings, you should never be paying more attention to others than your spouse in situations with strangers. Flirting is a nice ego boost from time to time and almost everyone enjoys being told they are attractive and I'm quite amused that a man who isn't homophobic, who wants his wife to pay more attention to him, who can't incite this kind of attention from straight women and get away with it, is really gay in the closet! Leather pants, ha, not one gay guy in the Castro is walking around with some leather pants on unless it's Gay Pride day or the Folsom Street Fair, and even then it's generally chaps, not pants!