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Monday, March 27, 2006 12:00 AM

If my wife dressed better, would gay guys stop hitting on me?

I'm a snappy dresser, and the other night, my wife and I were hanging out in this gay bar ...
By Cary Tennis

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  • Tuesday, March 28, 2006 03:27 AM

    Why I don't wear leather pants (any more)

    Well, they make things very humid in there. Very hot and sweaty without any effort whatsoever. And according to my experiences, that much heat and humidity just melts the dingleberries. And ya can't wear any underwear in leather pants, so now ya got these stinky racing stripes all over what were once a nice pair of leather pants. Oh, and you smell like poops. It leaves a rash, too.

    So that's why I stopped wearing leather pants. I hope my advice was helpful, y'all.

    —BillyBob

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