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• Monday, March 27, 2006 07:06 PM

  If my wife dressed better...

  Would I get a chance at better promotions when I took her to office functions, because people would think I must be a catch to land such a fine piece of spousal jewelry?

  Would my friends think I was cooler because my wife was dressed so nicely? Think I was more successful because I could keep her in such finery?

  Would more people stop me on the street and ask me how I landed such a catch?

  Would my manhood/self-worth be more assured becaused I'd landed such a great-looking/great-dressing wife?

  Would people wonder what she saw in me, and then figure that there must be something cool about me that I could have such a great looking woman in my life?

  And on, and on, and on...classic narcissism.

  This man needs to stop seeing his wife as a part of his self-esteem package, and leave her be.

  Not to mention all the questions she might be asking herself in a different direction, like "If my husband weren't so focused on what he was wearing and others' reactions to it, and their sexual reactions to it, might he treat me more like a romantic partner and less like a wingman in public situations?"

  Oy, this guy makes me feel bad for his wife, not for him. Dude, your wife ain't jewelry, you're not required to wear matching outfits, or even complimentary ones. Sounds likes she's a lot more comfortable with herself then you are, and that her reaction is to you treating her with a lack of respect rather than people responding to you just because of the way she looks.

  And how naive does someone have to be not to realize that when people send drinks to your table, it's a come-on?

  —beargrrl Read beargrrl's other letters
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