Read other letters about this article
Forgive me if this has been suggested - I don't have time to read all the zillion other letters - but the problem seems to be more how the LW dresses when he goes to gay bars. Maybe if he dressed more like his wife gay men wouldn't hit on him.
In other words, get over yourself and recognize the problem is you, dear LW, not your wife who has no problem being just exactly who she is.