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• Sunday, March 26, 2006 06:56 PM

  gay men hit on him

  I'm a lesbian, and straight men hit on me all the damn time. I don't get freaked out or take offense -- I decline and move on with my life. I'm not offended that they think I'm straight, nor do I try to change my outfits to appear less straight.

  Yet for some reason, straight people freak out when a gay person hits on them. "Why does he think I'm gay? Is it my clothes? Is it because I'm devastatingly attractive? Oh no, what do I do?"

  Frankly, it's offensive. If it weren't for the social stigma of homosexuality, the LW would not have a problem at all. Imagine he was being hit on by straight women -- would there be a discussion? Would the letter writer wonder if he should try to appear less straight?

  So, as Cary said, there is obviously something else going on. For some reason, the LW is fixating on gay men, what gay men think of him, and whether he might appear gay.

  Perhaps he secretly finds it erotic. It's possible that the LW is gay, or at least bisexual. Or maybe he just likes to talk about how attractive he is, and that's why he invented this "problem."

  Either way, it obviously has nothing to do with his wife's clothes. She might have been annoyed at the bar, but unless she's threatening divorce, there is no reason for either of them to change anything because of this incident. If the whole point of this is that he really just wants her to dress up, he should leave gay men out of it.

  What a strange letter.

  —Kelly
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