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Maybe we could simplify the issue by taking the gay aspect out of the picture.
Husband and wife were out on a date and someone sent a drink over to ONE spouse, a clear, specific pick-up move. Everyone agrees sending a drink over to one person (not the entire party) is the international sign for flirting--a pick-up.
Husband fails to say "no thanks, I'm married," and instead suggests to his wife they go over so he can continue the flirt/pick-up/mating dance with the 3rd party.
Wouldn't we all agree that is sadistic treatment of the wife? It borders on abusive, to make her watch while he flirts with someone who bought him a drink.
The issue isn't how either of them were dressed, but his disrespect and cuckolding of his wife.