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• Monday, March 27, 2006 05:57 AM

  a snappy dresser

  Your wife is not responsible for how other people react to you. You are. You dress the way you do in order to satisfy and express something within you, and others pick up on that.

  You say you were shocked when the two men turned out to be gay? I find that hard to believe. If a man at a bar offers me a drink, I understand that he's trying to pick me up. This is a universal invitation. I venture to say offering a complete stranger a drink at a bar is a come on in any country on earth that has bars. Which is probably most of them.

  People here are suggesting you are gay. I did not pick up that vibe from your letter. The vibe I got was that you are narcissistic. And a little sadistic. And perhaps a bit passive-agressive as well.

  You seem to enjoy sexual attention from others, regardless of whether you are interested in them or not. You seem to enjoy flaunting that attention in your wife's face. And you seem to further enjoy blaming your wife for it. Publicly. In a forum where tens of strangers will feel free to comment on it.

  Do you have any concern at all for your wife's feelings? Do you enjoy publicly humiliating her? You couch your letter in amused objectivity, but I think that's a ruse. If I were her, I'd take a good look at the man I married and wonder if his (apparent) attractiveness was worth the kind of suffering he was so casually willing to inflict on me.

  —rosalei Read rosalei's other letters
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