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The LW was not acting as though he were "with" his wife. He treated her like a wingman. If he behaved as though he were part of a couple--I'm talking subtle affection, not PDA--there would have been no ambiguity. And yes, accepting a drink from someone at a bar IS an indication of interest.
Whether he's gay because he wears leather pants or not, I think it's pretty clear that he isn't behaving as though she's his wife. So he's hurting her, and he's leading on the men. She might want to think about this.
