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I've always found the idea of leather pants funny for some reason. No real reason why--leather pants just seem funny to me.
Now, to the LW:
If you don't want gay men to hit on you, though, you may want to leave the leather at home. Leather pants are a hit with many gay men (so I am told), as is the meticulous level of fashion you seem to subscribe to. (Excuse me while I indulge in some broadly-drawn stereotypes.) Not that there's anything wrong with your look--it's just uncharacteristic of a straight man. Hell, I know straight men who--were it not for funerals, work, and weddings--would never wear a tie or an ironed shirt during their entire lifetime. And really, is it about the clothes? No, it's not about the clothes.
It is, however, about the homosexual subtext that pervades the letter and the description of LW's encounter in the gay bar. He's gung-ho about accepting drinks and attention from gay men, she's reluctant to accept that, and the whole situation smacks of unfulfilled, subconscious desire and longing on the part of LW. Would a little self-reflection kill ya, LW? It ain't your wife who's attracting gay men, and it ain't your wife who's laughing off the encounter as though nothing happened. Cary is right (though cryptic): more is at work here than LW is perhaps willing to be aware of, and both parties here could benefit from reflection and conversation.
