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• Monday, March 27, 2006 09:03 AM

  He's not gay, c'mon

  First of all, people...

  1) being a gay bar does not mean you're gay

  2) wearing leather patns does not mean you're gay

  3) getting hit on my gay people does not mean you're gay

  What i think MAY be going on here (one of may possibilities) is that the wife is an independent-minded hippie and the husband is a bit on the needy side. No crime in that, but maybe the husband isn't getting the attention he wants from his wife, or enough of it for his taste. Some people want more attention, some people don't want as much, maybe he likes to feel wanted and desired by his wife -- that she cares about him and what he does. So, he does something admittedly provocative -- he lets the gay guys hit on him in order to make his wife jealous so that she will pay attention to him. His demand for her to dress "better" is him asking her to show that she cares about him and what he does, and show him that she wants him all to herself.

  Many of you will be quick to condemn the needy husband for trying to manipulate the wife into paying attention to him. Especially because this is behavior more often attributed to women or "girly men" than men. And perhaps he is in real life a really needy guy and his neediness is not reasonable. We just don't know. But, i think a little "neediness" or "desire to feel loved and wanted" is not a crime, and is perhaps even...dare i say...normal, and he's not getting it from her, so he's acting out.

  As always, the LWs don't give us enough concrete details and we have to fill in with speculation. I may be totally wrong, but i think it's possible this is what's happening.

  —LeCastor
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