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Monday, March 27, 2006 12:00 AM

If my wife dressed better, would gay guys stop hitting on me?

I'm a snappy dresser, and the other night, my wife and I were hanging out in this gay bar ...

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  • Monday, March 27, 2006 09:41 AM

    Tacky on so many levels

    First challenge is that this man thinks he has good taste. Leather pants, either in the straight or gay community are not in good taste, unless you're into leather fetishes. As one writer noted, leather is too coarse a material to package the package, and they're not worn outside a fetish environment for that reason.

    Second, this dolt has no concept of social mores. Accepting a drink from a stranger is accepting an invitation to not continue to be a stranger, and in a gay bar.......the conclusion is obvious. Either this gentleman is utterly oblivious, or he is covertly interested in attention from other men. If he is, fine - he joins the vast proportion of men who have some samesex interest, if Kinsey is to be believed. However, he really ought to not conduct a covert display of samesex appeal in an overtly gay environment with his wife. Tacky beyond belief.

    Third, his attitude towards his wife is apalling, and were I her, I wouldn't be caught dead with this ingrate, GQ though he might be. If he wants her to dress "better" (highly subjective statement, there), he could find infinitely more effective ways of achieving that goal than having her compete for his attentions in a gay setting.

    Fourth, as part of an identified straight couple venturing forth into a gay bar, he needs to be mindful that he is traveling in a bit of a foreign environment. His acceptance of a drink was as rude to the gay couple that ventured forth the social risk as it was rude to the woman he came through the door with. (My wife and I sometimes dine at a mostly-gay/lesbian restaurant that features exceptional food; I could not possibly imagine reciprocating an expression of interest conveyed through a free drink. As it happens, both my wife and I have, at that restaurant, been given the hint of interest in something more than social converstation by samesex focus patrons, and our response is identical to what we do in heterosexual environments - a polite/firm gracious declination, with an understanding that, at our age, any interest is, on its face, flattering. We just don't assume it's a basis for doing anything).

    Fifth, if he pushes his wife into either dressing more frumpily or far, far more stylishly, he may find that lesbians will find his wife attractive, and then will be confronted with a role-reversal. Then, perhaps, he can take up dressing like a lumberjack to appeal to the rough trade.

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