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• Monday, March 27, 2006 07:46 AM

  Hello...You're in a GAY bar...

  You're a self-confessed metrosexual, with a wife who doesn't particularly like to dress up...the combo may make for a happy marriage (you're both not fighting for the mirror) ; but social disaster, particularly in situations such as this.

  Let me break it down for you.

  I go out with my Gay male friends; I adore them. I live in South Beach -- 2nd gay capital on earth - I'm straight. Like Pamela Anderson says "I'm a gay man in a woman's body" Men are yummy.

  Gay men love straight women who look, for want of a better word -- fierce. By that I mean, sharp, hot, outré, which is hot with just a little flamboyance. If you're there, (with your metrosexual self) , with a wife who is not that sharply dressed, you don't look like a couple, you look like a gay man with a lesbian friend - it happens-- at a GAY bar.

  What you said made her feel like a frump. Which she isn't. She seems like a very intelligent, creative type who received a let-down from you. For a while, you forgot who she is, in essence, and what made her attractive to you. So you need to get over your self-absorbed flattered self, and apologise to your wife for your thoughtless remark. As liberal as you are, you don't need to hang at a GAY bar to prove it. Subtext, anyone?

  Now make love to your wife like a straight man, rediscover muff-diving and GO TO STRAIGHT BARS!!!

  —Xema Gold
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