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Whatever the deep psychosociological underpinnings of this guy's situation are--and hoo, boy, are there many--the bottom line is this: For some reason he feels the need to dress really gay (and yeah, of course that's a stereotype, but we all know what it means anyway), and likes it when gay men hit on him, even in front of his wife. The woman who's down with that is unique in all the world, and probably a masochist. The guy's not an idiot, he knows this.
Even if it's true that if she dressed better the boys would chill out (and maybe it is), she shouldn't have to do a damn thing to stop her husband from being a jerk to her. He needs to check himself, period. Then check in with his friendly local therapist.