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So many of the things Indian Girl wrote could have come straight from me! My mom basks in praise like nobody else I know, especially if it's about her looks (she looks young for her age). She never worked, loves being the centre of attention, is easily upset and can be competitive with me (especially if it concerns her vanity). She's also petulant like a child whenever somebody says something that she doesn't like. Which is hard as she's not too sensible about her finances. She also lives halfway around the world but comes back to our home town every few months and stays with me.
But my mom also has a kind heart. She'll go on about herself for ages if you let her, but if she sees that someone close to her is unhappy or having troubles she'll try to be there for them. With my problems she's also a bit like a child- she cares, but never knows the right thing to say. But at least I know she'll listen. There's alot of good there (just not every day), and I hope the same can be said for Indian Girl's mom?
It's easy for me to focus on all the daily annoyances, and it's hard when you feel like your mom's parent rather than her child. But that's not all there is. So for my own peace of mind I try to let alot just go by. What does it matter if my mom keeps repeating (all day) how pretty someone said she is, or how mean someone was to her (when they weren't)? And when I disagree with her (which is quite often) I'll express myself, but try to be as pleasant as possible about it. If she's still upset I ignore it, and she gets over it eventually. Even without major arguments she's slowly learned that the sulking doesn't work with me, and that's improved things (but it took a couple of years). Easier said than done, but I care about her, and nobody's perfect. Plus she lives far away.
