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• Sunday, March 19, 2006 10:52 AM

  extended adolescence

  I think this LW's problems are quite common for our age. I read recently that psychologists want to extend the definition of adolescence up to the the age of thirty, which seems about right to me. In this bewildering day and age, the twenties are currently about experimentation and just getting a foothold in life, unless you are fortunate enough to start out with a trust fund that allows you to join the family-kids-home bandwagon right away.

  That said, the LW is smart to realize that time marches on and thus to be building a solid career for herself even as her mind is primarily engaged with hipster symbols and pursuits.

  I can tell the LW, though, that I'm 36 and still haven't solved her dilemmas, even as I stare down the waning years of my biological clock. I too have cultivated a steady, decently paying career (with many fits and starts) and bought a home, even as I was more engaged with the latest album, film, or novel to catch my attention. I just took a few days off from my steady job, complete with settled old farts (who are undoubtedly interesting in their own way but certainly not exciting), and my normal work-gym-home routine to attend the SXSW music festival, and I can say it was EXHILIRATING. It felt like a prison break.

  I do still believe, because I have met a couple of them, that there are guys out there, some even with steady jobs as engineers or what have you, who will GET IT, and who are as exciting and interesting to be around as a good SXSW showcase. Unfortunately finding a relationship that is truly engaging is difficult, but I'm willing to forfeit the family and kids if need be because I'd prefer to be on my own to cultivate my own interests than to settle in that particular realm. I've turned down a couple of "great on paper" guys because for whatever mysterious reason, I simply didn't find them compelling, as much as I wanted to do so.

  My two cents for the LW.

  —lily Read lily's other letters
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