Letters to the Editor
-
Survival first
Finding love is tough. A couple needs what time they have to be alone
keeping the outside out.
-
She shouldn't consider herself a friend at all!
It would have ruined her day if she let her friend come over? Are you serious?
So what if she doesn't get to see her boyfriend very often? I highly doubt that her boyfriend was so possessive that he wouldn't have been okay with her inviting over a friend who had no power. And if he is, then he's way too selfish to be in a relationship in the first place. But it doesn't sound like the boyfriend was the one being selfish here. The LW was looking out only for herself, and the fact that she's trying to make justifications for why she wouldn't help a friend in a minor emergency is disgusting.
Look, it's not like the friend was that pushy college buddy who drinks too much at your house and doesn't know when to leave. We're talking about literally coming in out of the cold, here. We lost power for almost three days in an ice storm last month, and it got down below 50 degrees in our house overnight. I was damn grateful that family took me in so I could get warm.
I think the LW was a selfish b*tch and her friend is rightly seeing her for the shallow, self-centered ego-maniac that she is. I place a lot of faith in the old cliche that what comes around, goes around...and in this case, the LW has a lot coming to her. I hope she comes to her senses and realize how poorly she's treated her friend, and has the humility to apologize.
-
"bitches" of the world unite
well, i'm glad to see that i'm not the only one who can sympathize with the LW.
my hypotheticals: turns out, no one was actually left to freeze to death in their home, so, it is like there was no blizzard. in NYC, during the "record snowfall,"like someone above wrote, taxis were still running, bars were still open, and starbuckses.
As for gender, yeah, it kind of is important. In our culture, we're told over and over again, women love people, women are nurturing, women love to do housework and be with babies and work in HR better than hard sciences because they love people. So, when a woman refuses to be nurturing to a possibly needy baby-esque friend, we're shocked, shocked! she must be a heartless bitch! right?!
If a man did the same thing, i can imagine some of the misogynists crawling out of the woodwork to scream, oh, women just want men to take care of them, they need to learn to be independent, why is this woman calling this guy, doesn't she have other single friends she can go stay with? and then the other side would invoke chivalry, and protecting women and yadda yadda yadda
truth is, all that is archaic gender stereotypes that people cling to like they cling to ideas like "common decency." Well, common decency is all fine and good, but there's a problem with it. It comes from what is commonly accepted as decent, not what is inherently the right thing to do, right? So, perhaps it's commonly accepted to be decent only to straight people or people who don't have mohawks or people who are not on welfare in your neck of the woods.
Which brings me to, i think, my favorite point. Yeah, people may be nicer to their friends in Colorado than in the Northeast. Maybe you guys have more of this "common decency." But in the Northeast, we have more than that. We have respect. WE don't try to ban gay rights like you folks did in Colorado -- in fact, in MA, we have gay marriage. We may be Massholes and give the least amount of all the states to charity, but that's because we pay some of the highest taxes for things like health insurance for the needy, and not just children and possibly their mothers, but for ALL PEOPLE WHO CAN'T AFFORD IT. That's right, we have that in MA. And what about abortion? Well, in the Northeast, maybe we'll tell you to go to one of the myriad Starbucks open during a "blizzard," but we're also the least likely to curtail your right to control your own body and life. Yeah, maybe you'll get into a screaming "fuck you"-studded fight with a stranger on the corner of 67th and Lexington, but no one's going to beat you up and chain you to a fence to die like good old decent Wyoming. And where's lowest divorce rates in the country? The Northeast! HIghest income per capita? Top 3: CT, MA, NJ!
So, to hell with your homespun, selective common decency. What we've got is real respect for other human beings.
-
nice try
Nice try, LeCastor, but that argument just doesn't fly. It's OK to turn your friends away when they're in need as long as you also vote in favor of gay marriage? Huh? It's OK for women to be cruel to people because some people think women are supposed to be nurturers and that's sexist?
You act like common decency and holding your particular political opinions (which, of course, must be the absolute truth, and are definitively The Right Thing To Do) are somehow mutually exclusive. That's called a false dichotomy (perhaps you missed that day in logic class). I hate to break it to you, but there are plenty of people who both have the decency to help out a friend as well as fight for gay rights or abortion.
All of this attacking 'common decency' just sounds overly defensive, grasping for a rationalization as to why it's perfectly okay to be as selfish as you want, whenever you want. If you want to be an asshole, then just be one and the rest of us will do our best to avoid you, but don't try to hide behind "well, at least I'm sooo politically enlightened."
-
LeCastor
Oy. Just finished reading this thread.
Ok. I get it now. You've got problems. You've been painted into a corner, and all you've got left is to throw out non sequitors in hopes that something sticks. What does abortion have to do with the topic at hand?! What if the genders were switched? What if there was no blizzard?! What the Hell is wrong with you? You sound like a child who is trying to make up new rules to an arguement you now realize you are on the wrong side of.
Better to ask yourself why you are getting so defensive about this. The answer is pretty clear to the rest of us. (Go ahead and dismiss me as a misogynist if it helps you avoid facing this).
Next.