Letters to the Editor
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Small apartment?
First, what's with all the karma talk?! Next we're going to be invoking the boogey man?
Camel,
Maybe our differences come from where we live. Maybe the LW lives in an urban area where real estate is very expensive, like me, and the small space that she has to call her own is very dear to her. Maybe she lives in a small one-bedroom apartment, with the bathroom in the bedroom, and the kitchen the size of your bathtub. Maybe THAT's why having her BF there and another random male at the same time would be very akward. And btw, if i were the BF, i would PISSED if she ruined our day by forcing me and her and Mr. Cold Friend watch barney all day instead of have a sexfest. PISSED!
"So she doesn't get to spend the day in bed until next weekend. It's not like the boyfriend is being shipped off to Iraq the next day."
Maybe she really likes the company of her BF better than this needy friend. I think maybe she should forget about this impolite friend.
I had a friend who is always asking for shit, being very inconsiderate. He's not my friend anymore
And whoever wrote this:
"In other words, not only did she refuse to give her friend shelter, she is so unashamed of her behavior that she can't even summon up a sincere "sorry I left you out in the cold" and won't try to."
This isn't Jack London with snow and wolves running around. The friend had other options and wasn't going to freeze to death. Let's stop treating it like she threw him into the artic ocean and refused to throw him a life preserver.
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snow days
Snow days can be so romantic and so much fun. It sounds like the friend was maybe overacting and my first reaction was ‘buck up.’ I’m from New England and a snow storm and power outage is kind of nice. Most people will bundle up and grab a good book. These things rarely last long. I might not have even answered the original text.
But the phone call an hour later - you’ve got to imagine that friend has been calling everyone and not coming up with much. This person was probably lonely and board. I’d have told them to come on over and I’ll put on a pot of coffee. That’s just what friends do for each other. But the LW treated her friend in need like an annoyance. Thank kind of treatment is hurtful. I think the friend is completely in the right to expect an apology.
Of course if the ‘friend’ is an annoyance then the LW should embrace her inner bitch and congratulate herself for not being taken advantage of. But that sounds like it’s not the case or the letter would have been about the annoying ‘friend’ who is overstepping.
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She put it best in her own letter.
Callous bitch, you didn't let your friend in when he had no power in his apartment.
That's it. No amount of speculating the friend's matives by saying "oh, well maybe he was doing this" or "maybe he was doing that" is going to change this fact. Your friend needed help, and you refused. With friends like you...
And if you can't give a sincere apology, don't bother. They are better off without "friends" like you.
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This is a case where the typical
female "me" response has occurred. Why is everyone surprised? Selfishness is a trait that women wear well.
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If you wanted to be alone with your boyfriend....
why are you answering and 8AM text message and 9AM phone call? It's not the caller's (or texter's) fault if you CHOOSE to answer at at an hour that you don't consider civil.
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LeCastor:
Attention Salon Readers:
If you want to talk about who's a bitch, mean, nasty or an asshole, IT'S YOU! You people are so ready to thunder down judgment on complicated situations.
You talk about judgments in the split second before launching into a vitriolic broadside? Pot, meet kettle.
I'm the one who suggested the two-rooms thing, and I've lived with plenty of people, and I know how to accomodate them in blizzards and in fair weather. So you can stop projecting your insecurities onto me. I know why I think the LW is a bitch; Maybe you should figure out why you're so quick to defend her. What do you have in common with her? How many friends have you fucked over, ignored, backstabbed and betrayed just to get your own needs met?
What I just did there? Now that was projection. Same thing you did. Welcome to our mean, nasty, hateful little world.
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Being neighborly
There will be other days to be alone with your boyfriend. Being alone in the freezing cold potentially means death. Have some friggin' perspective and common human decency.
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Cry me a river
Boo hoo hoo. I was a callous bitch to someone I consider a friend and now they think I owe them an apology. Boo hoo hoo. Quick, Cary! Legitimize my selfishness. I know, let's assume the friend is just a needy little baby.
Ahhhhhh...I can feel the guilt just melt away.
Really though, I don't see what all the fuss is about. If they are your friend, you are supposed to do things like this for them, and vise versa. It would be unthinkable to me NOT to, considering what has been done for me in the name of friendship.
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More Karma talk
the irony in this whole story is that she needed nothing but herself and her boyfriend during the blizzard, but is asking the whole world to justify her bad behavior. Next time she is stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, i only hope her "friends" tell her "no", "buck it up," and "I just popped a bag of popcorn and my my favorite show is on."
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I agree with other letter writers
Don't know why Cary chose this letter other than to show that there are some really selfish people out there.
Friend wasn't asking for her companionship. It was cold. There was no heat in his apartment. The only thing LW thought of was (1) it's so early and (2) my SO and I never get to spend time together. What a bitch. Sad day when she was born.