Letters to the Editor
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Trust
The lady relishes the hunt and all the excitement it entails. Why not committment? Different kind of excitement. I have to admit to a quite sort of excitement when I look at my wife of almost 40 years. Not only that, at this late date we are still finding things out to make sex better. (It does change with time.) For both of us the sex is better than it has ever been: mind blowing, thought extinguishing, blinding, fireworks. Just not as often. (When I was a kid, it was so exciting as to be brief. Now it goes on for ever......!!!! What happens at the end of that is unbelievable. For her, it blows her mind with stunning orgasms.)
Out of 168 hours, all of it enjoyable, sex takes one(?). Icing on the cake.
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Not a word about love
This woman seems to lead a pretty empty existence. While she talks about liking the early, "connecting" part of a "relationship," she never seems to get to any real connection or real relationship! She seems to stay totally in her own head, observing the initial attraction, determining what she likes and doesn't like, while the guy is never really let in things. How awful it must be to just sit be a spectator on your whole life, and sit in judgment of everyone you date! And how awful for the objects (and in this case, it sounds like she actually treats them like objects) of her judgment!!
My husband and I are 45 and 46, and we are not as "hot" as we were in our 30s, but we have a great sex life because we love each other, we're totally connected, and we talk about stuff. And if one of us were to fart in bed, we'd share a joke about it!! When I see him, the room still lights up for me. Even if he's padding around in his polar-bear pajama pants, with a little paunch underneath. And when I overindulge and need to lose a few pounds, and grousingly go on a diet, he protests and says, "I love your body!"
Great sex is about more than "etiquette" or looking perfect. It's about love, connection, acceptance, and humor!
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puzzler
All I can think of is the Romance novel idea of what a man should be, all heaving chests, lots of romantic seduction, fairy tale fantasy.
And then reality sets in and she's disenchanted.
Does she have an unrealistic expectation of what a man should be in her life? Some sort of super attentive Prince Charming rather than a real person with wants and desires too?
Is she afraid of being committed so she loses interest once the seduction is over?
I do think our sexual drive changes as we age, but it seems to be more here than just that.
I think she has a fairly tale view of romance and once that fairy tale fades away, reality is not to her liking?
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I Enjoy Men.....
O.k. Anonymous-I'll bite-despite sounding salacious..
I do agree this woman could explore stepping outside of her culture, assuming she is a N. American. I would suggest some salsa classes or better yet-samba. Brazilian men can be warm and attentive lovers. The rate of age acquired obesity is much less there then in the States. I have been married to one for 9 years and can personally attest to some great memories of sweetness both above and below the sheets.
She may be a Renaissance (sp?) Woman whose needs are yet to be matched with someone in her culture. There lies the conflict...I know I knocked around the planet for a few years until I came to that realization.
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Why Not Date an Asexual Man
If this woman seems to enjoy the chase but not the ending, why doesn't she merely attempt to date an asexual? Sure the asexual may not give her the same kind of, or in this woman's case, the "right" attention that a normal straight man may provide but at least she won't have to worry about it becoming physical in nature. The flirting may be terrible but at least he won't try to take off her or his pants
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to SantoGuerreira
KOOL! So I am a renaissance man for wanting an Asian woman!
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What on earth do lesbians have to do with it?
The LW stated quite clearly she isn't attracted to women either, which certainly could be denial, but I tend to think someone so self-centered wouldn't be happy with really anyone else. So why the random homophobia?
As for me, I'm far more interested in my beautiful girlfriend than scamming any guy, which is probably the infuriating part. Brightstar isn't invited to the party once again. ;)
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^
>>What on earth do lesbians have to do with it?>>
because anyone not attracted to brightstar is clearly a lesbian
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THEN STAY HOME AND LEAVE US ALONE
If she doesn't want a man in her bed, then she's going to have to stop taking men into her bedroom.
It's simple, really.
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Brightstar what's stopping you?
Brightstar what's stopping you from getting an Asian woman? You said you have plenty of money, so why haven't you done it yet?
My guess is that what you really want is to step up in social class. I can't figure out if you want one of the hotties you see in clubs or one of the refined, born-to-privilege ones you went to art school with. My guess is that you don't settle down with an Asian woman because that wouldn't fulfill your quest, which is really about social class only you don't realize it. My guess is that your quest is to prove once and for all you are acceptable to a certain crowd. ONLY by landing a woman of a certain social set would you feel you have arrived. That's my guess, and I could be wrong.
If you did settle down with an Asian woman, would you then take it out on her that you didn't land one of the hotties or privileged types that I believe your quest is about? I hope not. Other than that, why don't you go ahead?
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P.S. I didn't mean to imply...
P.S. I didn't mean to imply that the hypothetical Asian woman Brightstar could seek wasn't ALSO from a privileged social class in the U.S. rat race. That could be. But I doubt Brightstar could get her for the same reasons he isn't getting the kinds of chicks he went to art school with or the hotties in clubs. Just posted again to say I see the flaw in my last post where i could have implied an Asian woman couldn't also be a refined New York art student at a rich art school like I think Brighstar went to.